whatever. look at your hair. really? sweet? i got to take a picture of this crappy hair you got. amanda s going to crap herself. your hair is hideous. i ve had a real bad day. do you have a fever? no. i lost a little bit of money. why? playing cards. well, don t play cards. i have to play cards to eat, because i don t got money. i have to win to eat and i lose and it frustrates me. i hurts me right here when i lose. really? i think you re pointing too high. it makes me anxious. why didn t you put money in my account? because. i m going to put $10 in your account today, which is going to sucks 3ds out. so you re going to do what you got to do on seven bucks. on how much? seven, because they take out three? seven dollars? you know what? go to jail if you want more thanes sds 7 a week. i appreciate it all, mom. buy some crackers. i m going to gamble it away. really? try to turn that $7 into $14, and that $14 into $30.
people are laughing at me. i m ready to freak out. i m mad at you, and i don t want to be mad at you. i haven t seen you. i have a good reason. i don t buy the excuses, but whatever. look at your hair. really? sweet? i got to take a picture of this crappy hair you got. amanda s going to crap herself. your hair is hideous. i ve had a real bad day. do you have a fever? no. i lost a little bit of money. why? playing cards. well, don t play cards. i have to play cards to eat, because i don t got money. i have to win to eat and i lose and it frustrates me. i hurts me right here when i lose. really? i think you re pointing too high. it makes me anxious. why didn t you put money in my account? because. i m going to put $10 in your account today, which is going to suck $3 out. so you re going to do what you got to do on seven bucks. on how much? seven, because they take out three. seven dollars? you know what? wah. don t go to jail if you don t want more t
our visits are through glass. it s not the same. you know what i mean? hopefully they ll let me out on the tier where i can go out and interact with people and talk and work on my social skills a little bit. you know? even though conrad has just been told he will get none of the special privileges the others in his new unit do, he still talks a good game. i m just hoping they let me out to population, like, you know, be able to walk around, play cards, work out with people and stuff. that is a big deal. kind of weird, no? coming back to a population after all this time. wasn t expecting this when i woke up this morning, you know? how is it going? you know who i am? no. i m esteban. how is it going?
nothing else to do but sit around work, play cards, drink coffee. he does about, i d say, eight to ten cups a day. tough habit to keep up with, the coffee habit. but on the outside, mcnee and his brother share far more dangerous addictions. on average day, i could spend anywhere from $300, $500 to $1,000 a day. on what? heroin, cocaine. i lived the life of an addict to the fullest and i m embarrassed by it. drugs have had a hold on mcnee and bubanas since a young age and played a major role in their troubles with the law. when we re out there getting high, all we re thinking business the next high. scheming, plotting. what we ll do, how we re going do this, how we ll get that one. i m like jekyll and hyde when i m using when i m not using hfl
being and put your hate behind you. so there s always this kind of uneasy truce. but for the most part, if they have respect for each other and each other s space, then there s usually not a problem. while segregated from the rest of the general population, within this unit the inmates are integrated. meaning a member of a latin gang could be housed with a white supremacist. we try to create a balance throughout the building, you know? so they kind of have to live around each other, but there s not a big congregation of one gang versus another. they ll hang with their certain group. they are in such a confined spaces they re still basically forced to interact. they will do calisthenics. they ll lift water bags, play hand ball, play cards. it just brings more tension. they re trying at first to get along. but not everybody thinks that way. there s other gangs that just don t just don t want to get along. felix solis is a member of occ, ogden s craziest chicanos, a local utah