was born, it really wasn t all that. reporter: it s supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life. epitomized in this scene from knocked up. oh, i love you so much. reporter: but for some, that joy isn t so automatic. i was waiting for this tsunami of love and nothing happened. reporter: photographer and author phillip todona confesses it wasn t all sugar and spice and everything nice when it came to the birth of his now 4-year-old daughter, lulu. i was sort of perplexed by my lack of immediate affection. reporter: he admits when lulu was born, he had trouble developing an emotional bond. i love the part in your book where you refer to lulu as an alien. lulu is screaming her head off. and i said to carla, doesn t that make you crazy. carla said, i know, don t you