QI have a cult fascination with the film
Withnail and I. OK, I
love this film. But I am troubled by the perspective this film offers on homosexuality. It’s not what one would call a “modern perspective.” I believe the film’s portrayal of homosexuality can be seen as funny or alarming or a cultural reference point. I think it’s all three. My son is gay, and with some introductory apologizes, I want to tell him to watch the film. Apologies for “trial ballooning” something like this with you, Mr. Savage, and I know you are not the standard-issue gay, as if such a thing exists. But have you seen the film? And if so, your thoughts?
Nervously Asking Dan Something
I think you re fine, NADS, so long as you ve taken a moment to think about why you are burdened with this preference. Our sexual attractions, orientations, and preferences are easily distorted and limited by prejudice. If you reflect on what might be at the root of your preference for men who are straight (or for men who ll tell you they are), NADS, you might be able to open yourself up to more partners. But a person can reflect day and night for decades and still feel the same way. At the very least, though, we can all be thoughtful about our erotic and/or sexual biases, take responsibility for them, be considerate about how we express them, and perhaps most importantly do our best not to transmit them. I m not into shame but not finding a particular group of people attractive for whatever reason is something we can keep to ourselves not just to avoid doing harm to people we aren t attracted to, but to avoid passing our erotic biases and limitatio
Dear Dan: I have a quick question about bisexuality. What if one has a preference for dating straight individuals? As a straight woman, I am only interested in dating straight men. Is that some kind of phobia? Or is it OK for that to be a preference?
Nervously Asking Dan Something
I think you re fine, NADS, so long as you ve taken a moment to think about why you re burdened with this preference. Our sexual attractions, orientations and preferences are easily distorted and limited by prejudice. If you reflect on what might be at the root of your preference for men who are straight (or for men who ll tell you they are), NADS, you might be able to open yourself up to more partners. But a person can reflect day and night for decades and still feel the same way. At the very least, we can all be thoughtful about our erotic and/or sexual biases, take responsibility for them, be considerate about how we express them and perhaps most importantly do our best not to transmit them. I
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