join us all next week at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. jay-z released a rap today. i ll just quote i turned han vanya into atlanta, boy from the hood i got white house clearance. obama said quote chill you gonna get me impeached. you don t captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) [eagle caw] [cheers and applause] stephen: hey, welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. ladies and gentlemen [cheers and applause] thank you. [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you. in here, out there, i thank you for support on a nightly basis because you know, ladies and gentlemen, if you watch this show, you know [cheers and applause] you know that i get up here every night and i always say how i feel. please i m always saying how i feel. some people may not agree but i gots to do what i do. tonight i m going to go out on a limb and say i m against a giant asteroid destroying the earth. i don t care fit loses me spon
stephen: i got to tell you folks, i got it el it you, after a greeting like that i got to tell you, i don t need to smoke pot, you re a natural high. (cheers and applause) stephen: folks, tonight the republican candidates had their second presidential debate in less than a week. and i was excited as a kid in a candy store who spent three hours in that same candy store last wednesday. (laughter) of course tonight s debate is being cohosted by cnn and the tea party express. so you know it won t be more of the same, same old same old. now we taped the show before the tea party face-off. so let me give you a preview of my analysis tomorrow. oh god so, much blood, where did that tiger come from? (laughter) but folks, the real, the real game changer came before the debate, when former candidate tim pawlenty stopped by to borrow a cup of air time from the fox & friends. there s one candidate in this race who is unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes t
stephen: i got to tell you folks, i got it el it you, after a greeting like that i got to tell you, i don t need to smoke pot, you re a natural high. (cheers and applause) stephen: folks, tonight the republican candidates had their second presidential debate in less than a week. and i was excited as a kid in a candy store who spent three hours in that same candy store last wednesday. (laughter) of course tonight s debate is being cohosted by cnn and the tea party express. so you know it won t be more of the same, same old same old. now we taped the show before the tea party face-off. so let me give you a preview of my analysis tomorrow. oh god so, much blood, where did that tiger come from? (laughter) but folks, the real, the real game changer came before the debate, when former candidate tim pawlenty stopped by to borrow a cup of air time from the fox & friends. there s one candidate in this race who is unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes t
stephen: folks, tonight the republican candidates had their second presidential debate in less than a week. and i was excited as a kid in a candy store who spent three hours in that same candy store last wednesday. (laughter) of course tonight s debate is being cohosted by cnn and the tea party express. so you know it won t be more of the same, same old same old. now we taped the show before the tea party face-off. so let me give you a preview of my analysis tomorrow. oh god so, much blood, where did that tiger come from? (laughter) but folks, the real, the real game changer came before the debate, when former candidate tim pawlenty stopped by to borrow a cup of air time from the fox & friends. there s one candidate in this race who is unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes to turning around this economy and growing jobs, and that s mitt romney. and i m proud and excited to endorse him for president of the united states. stephen: this is huge fo
( cheers and applause ) jon: that s our show. here it is your moment of zen. i m a married man. but if i captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause) stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) stephen: i got to tell you folks, i got it el it you, after a greeting like that i got to tell you, i don t need to smoke pot, you re a natural high. (cheers and applause) stephen: folks, tonight the republican candidates had their second presidential debate in less than a week. and i was excited as a kid in a candy store who spent three hours in that same candy store last wednesday. (laughter) of course tonight s debate is being cohosted by cnn and the tea party express. so you know it won t be more of the same, same old same old. now we taped the s