hello. marc gonzales gets a visit from his mother. and later i joined the marine corps for her just trying to get her to be proud of me for once. paula rivas son braces for a visit with his mother. limu emu & doug what do all these people have in common, limu? [ paper rustling ] exactly, nothing. they re completely different people, that s why they need customized car insurance from liberty mutual. they ll only pay for what they need! [ gargling ] [ coins hitting the desk ] yes, and they could save a ton. you ve done it again, limu. only pay for what you need. liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ours is a proud bloodline. we hail from the battlefields to the badlands. from the mountains and the midtowns.
i just want him to forgive me that i m not out there for him, and i want him to know that i m going to be out there. rivas son is a marine who deployed to afghanistan seven months ago. i always wanted my son to join the military, but when you realize that they are going to war and there s nothing you can do, it s not easy. especially being here in jail, you know. he has nothing to come home to. i m in here, you know. i can t write well, i could write him, but it s just difficult, you know. i didn t want him to get a letter with orange county jail stamped on it. i look for articles about over there to see. every time i see the newspaper, losing 11, 10 men, i don t know if it s my boy. it s not been easy. rivas says she loves her son but has admittedly not been there for him over the years.
she was often more focused on drugs than family. i was getting high one way or another from 9 years old, whether it be on weed, drinking. back then lsd, pcp. in my later years, it s been mostly it was coke for a while, but i went to other drugs, heroin, meth. i ve been coming here for the last ten years consistently, and it s pretty sad that i know the deputies in this place more than my own family. i know this place more than my son, you know. this is the first time rivas son has been deployed while she s been locked up. normally she would serve her time in prison, but a judge granted her request to stay at the orange county jail so she could be closer to her son when he returns from afghanistan. prison is a cakewalk, you know. it s so much easier. i ve got it made up there. upstate is our house. this is their house.
while gonzales mother might be concerned if she knew about her son s living situation, she can take comfort in knowing that the orange county jail might have realigned his priorities. like in my mug shot picture i stuck my tongue out. it was a joke to me, totally. spending 11 months, i just learned how to become a man physically and mentally and then have to go to rehab right after i get out, that s a big eye-opener for me. i m never going to come back. i just experienced all the things my family had to go through, all the money that s been spent. i never want to do this ever again. i ve got my little calendar right there written on the wall. it says 22 pancakes left. every saturday we get pancakes, and i ve got 22 left. i mark it down every time. today is the 22nd. 22 pancakes left. paula rivas is hoping she ll never eat another pancake at the orange county jail either. she s headed to court in hopes that a new plea bargain will soon set her free.
it s been very hard for me to manage. rivas has spent most of the last ten years locked up on various drug-related charges, but this time it s different. while she s here, her son lorenzo has been serving as a marine in afghanistan. i didn t want him to be hurt or injured in any way, you know. he s seen a lot. i know he has. but he s lost a few friends, i know that. today lorenzo is not only safe but home from his deployment. he has just arrived with his grandmother for a visit. i haven t seen her in about nine months. to see my mom in jail it s really hard on me. seems like she s always gone when i need her the most. me being over there in afghanistan and me being here, one of the worst feelings ever. she hasn t always been there for me. it s void in my life. i did get one letter from her and i was really surprised. i must have read it 10, 15 time be.