You are now recognized for your opening statement. Did you feel threatened . laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, free bird plus, stephen welcomes paul rudd and Adrienne Warren featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey how are you . Hey, everybody, thanks so much. Oh, what a crowd what a crowd, my friend, beautiful. Welcome, one and all thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. We are just two days you can feel the excitement. You know why . Because the holidays are coming. Were two days away from thanksgiving. Now heres a little tip if you want moist breast meat, put your turkey in the oven now, at 75 degrees for 48 hours. laughter today, the president and first lady participated in the traditional pardoning of the turkeys ceremony. When he heard the news, Paul Manafort said gobbling laugh
His lawyers has been really busy causing the impeachment hearings [ laughter ] President Trump on friday called for an Environmental Review of bathroom fixtures [ light laughter ] and claimed that, quote, people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. [ light laughter ] huh . Apparently its harder than i thought to get rid of a wedding ring [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause Time Magazine has released its list of finalists for person of the year, which includes President Trumps personal attorney Rudy Guiliani though im pretty sure he hasnt been a person since 1649 [ laughter and applause a team of three men announced last week they have set a new Cross Country speed record driving from manhattan to los angeles in 28 hours. How did you get from new york to l. A. That fast . Said spirit airlines. [ laughter and applause an arizona man recently registered a swarm of bees as emotional support animals. [ light laughter ] and so far theyre doing a great job. [ laughter an
[ light laughter ] President Trump met with the russian minister of Foreign Affairs on the same day hes being impeached. That is brazen naming it the missing wife. [ laughter ] wheel of fortune sidekick vanna white this week started a threeweek run as fillin host and let me tell you, it is chaos in the nursing home. [ light laughter ] what is she doing wheres pat . [ light laughter ] President Trumps campaign has released a line of lgbtq pride themed merchandise and then mike pence squinted so hard, his eyes healed over kfc announced last week that it will begin selling a fireplace log that smells like fried chicken. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] perfect if youve ever wondered what your dog would look like on fire [ laughter and applause according to a new report, liam was the most popular baby name for boys this year tied for last, lev and igor. [ light laughter ] a man in asia recently proposed to a silicone sex doll but if you ask me, hes just using her. [ light laughter ] a n
Years. But today really was something, i mean its just, a ukraine storm hit washington in a bigly way. We have moved past watergate into floodgate. This was an incredible day. We heard live testimony today from the key man in the middle of all this. Trumps ambassador to the eu, Gordon Sondland. This is not a never trumper. This is not a civil servant. This is not a democrat. This is one of trumps wealthiest donors, a wealthy hotel magnate, who was given the position after he donated a Million Dollars to trumps inauguration fund. He was the quid pro quo in the quo. So today sondland took the stand and said this. I know that members of this committee frequently frame these complicated issues in the form of a simple question. Was there a quid pro quo . As i testified previously, with regard to the requested white house call and the white house meeting, the answer is yes. Jimmy and just like that, Donald Trumps defense disappeared faster than he downs a bucket of kfc. It was [cheers and ap
laughter you are now recognized for your opening statement. Did you feel threatened . laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, free bird plus, stephen welcomes paul rudd and Adrienne Warren featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey how are you . Stephen hey, everybody, thanks so much. What a crowd what a crowd, my friend, beautiful. Welcome, one and all thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, one and all to thealate show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. You can feel the excitement. You know why . The holidays are coming. Were just two days away from thanksgiving. If you want moist breast meat, put your turkey in the oven now, at 75 degrees for 48 hours. laughter today, the president and first lady participated in the traditional pardoning of the turkeys ceremony. When he heard the news, Paul Manafort said gobbling laugh this year, the two turkeys up for