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Rose Byrne – international movie star and FHM Australia’s 16th sexiest woman in the world (2006) – has a terrible internet connection. It takes her two goes to join our Zoom, and from that point on she’ll freeze roughly every four minutes through our hour-long talk, get stuck in a vast range of facial expressions – aghast, amused, evasive, perturbed, shocked, etc – most of which would be deeply unflattering on a less beautiful woman. This is frustrating, while creating a degree of instant intimacy between us, because that’s all any of us are now, isn’t it? Film stars and journalists and politicians and Pilates instructors and formerly ferocious bosses alike: defined by our internet speeds and connections, similarly reduced by their inadequacies.

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