"The Lashkowitz may have been an unwanted eyesore to some, but to others, it was a shelter from the storm, a place in which to live, laugh and love," writes columnist Roxane Salonen.
While alphas are characterized as dominant, hypermasculine men who always lead the pack, the one person they will always follow is podcaster Joe Rogan. The Onion asked alphas why they love Rogan, and this is what they said.