handsomeness of the messenger. [laughter] it must be like trying to read a book and a nude beach in sweden. sometimes i wish i was only so people would take me seriously. if they did what other people have over me. [snoring [laughter] the news industry is like san francisco after in deep doo-doo. according to this news site, not the greatest crater who stole my amex. news content is plummeting like skydiving with a malfunctioning rip cord. they blamed it on the public public shannon bream s little goody two-shoes for her team, i don t believe that for a second. gone 19% msnbc and fox news. told them it would have that effect, but they didn t listen. [laughter] it sucks until you read further. they skew towards and msnbc, which are down. fox ratings are up 12%. [cheers and applause] what the hell? why did you group them together and say they always on average when only two coded? that would be something he does with in the french army! claimed that cable ne
guess they are using the same co flatten the curve. [laughter] but thank god because the stuff i ve watched so far has been so riveting. to hell with that summer vacation to key west, i know what i am doing the first week or 2 of july. yeah. apparently they re going to pursue witnesses and a lot of new evidence. i guess they re not happy with the witnesses they originally cast in this [bleep] show. what a disaster, huh? made the hindenburg look like a fender bender. to make pompeii look like knott s berry farm. that is a weird comparison. apparently they are going to subpoena trump s white house counsel, pat cipollone? i don t know. already talked to these clowns, and what for? local, obviously to salvage the mess they made with their big star. the good news, at least you didn t implicate two body building nigerians. [laughter] seriously, haven t they been through enough? just wish they would move out of my apartment. they take the longest showers. apparently, the committee d
aw! greg: you know it s illegal to write poodles dressed up as a cowgirl? ha-ha. greg: just checking. we re breaking new ground. it s time for scratch-n-sniff monologue. this has never been done and probably for good reason, but it s true. at any moment, you, dear viewer, will be asked to scratch the tv screen when an image appears, and then you have to guess what that image smells like. i know! there s something wrong with me. there s something wrong with me, but isn t this fun? it s a special treat for all of you at home and for our fans watching for free at best buy. so let s go to the 1st one. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. all right. huh? huh? oh yeah, there you go. the scratch-n-sniff. get up there. get up to your screen. smell it. smell it. smell your fingers. get up there. all right, what s that smell like? what s that smell like? now if you guessed parmesan cheese, you win. but we will accept crisco, because we know he does. hunter claims his dad viewed him
now, patti ann, you remember, from redeye. she had a way with words. good evening, i am sith lord darth hotius. after the discussion of the relative sexiness of the fox & friends staff, the new york times reported i said brian kilmeade makes me want to puke, i would also like to add that brian is packed and stacked, brother want to thank your mother [laughter] like prince said, you are a [bleep]. [applause] greg: i think she almost had chris wallace s job. she is still better than chris wallace. and then mike baker, you may remember him from redeye for his deep insights. when i smoke some weed the first thing i want to eat is a hot wing sandwich. greg: he is allowed to carry a gun. all right, to the monologue. so, in preparation for the made for prime time shown trial on the january 6th riots, house dems have hired a former abc news executive james gholston to polish up their trumped up turd. their goal, take old battered exaggerations and repurposed as new im
The shocking incident showed a white counter-protester student, jumping up and down, making monkey noises toward a protester who was live-streaming on her phone at the University of Mississippi