Netherworld, Utah
Dear Mr. or Ms. or Whatever Gender You Identify As:
I am applying for the position of mattress tester with your company. I have been preparing for this job my whole life. In fact, I have slept away approximately a third of my life in so doing.
Steeled with this wealth of experience gained from my on-the-mattress training, I am confident that I am uniquely qualified to be the best mattress tester your company has ever employed.
That is because I have extensive lumbar and cervical stenosis and scoliosis. In plain English that means my spine has more doglegs than the worldâs most challenging golf courses. It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than to squeeze through one of my spineâs narrow canals.
Reflections: Spring sanitizes a winter of discontent berksmontnews.com - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from berksmontnews.com Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.
Itâs way past time that bullets stop earning frequent flier miles.
Right now you probably have a better chance of getting shot with hot lead in Reading than you do getting shot with a COVID-19 vaccination because of its glacial rollout.
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The first part of Moran s plan is to create a gun buyback program.
The second part is to explore creating an auxiliary police program that will empower residents to work with local police.
The third part is to partner with community organizations such as YouthBuild, Moms Demand Action, Village of Reading, Reading Recreation Commission, Olivet Boys & Girls Club and Reading School District.