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While European companies have begun experimenting with four-day workweeks, American companies have yet to adopt the practice. The Onion asked American CEOs to explain why they oppose a shorter workweek, and this is what they said.

United statesJamie dimon jpmorganMark zuckerberg metaGoldman sachsBill gatesBob iger disneyWarren buffett berkshire hathawayMarc benioff salesforceDara khosrowshahi uberDoug mcmillon walmartMatas betterhelpMelinda gates foundationExplain why they opposeBerkshire hathawayLabor rightsAlon matas