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Joe Pisani: Bonus secrets on how to become a super-geezer Joe Pisani FacebookTwitterEmail Donna Grethen illustration for metrosexuality columnDonna Grethen / Tribune When I reached the supermarket checkout, I began looking for a last-minute something-or-other to toss in my shopping cart. Mentos? Slim Jims? “Soap Opera Digest”? “The National Enquirer” expose on Meghan and Harry? I miss the glory days of supermarket tabloid journalism when the “Weekly World News” enticed us with headlines like “Aliens Elected to Congress!” and “Is JLo Dating Bat Boy?” and “Elvis Spotted at McDonald’s with Hillary (Bill enraged).” Sadly, that legendary newspaper folded. Where’s old-fashioned investigative reporting when we need it?

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