beautiful little flower girls, and roger s idea of a wedding was like father of the bride where the father says can t we just have a wedding in the back yard and put some brats on the grill? people who knew me then would be very surprised that i would marry a white man. because i felt that african-american men had gotten such a raw deal in this society. in college, i was the head of the black student union. i marched with martin luther king. i talked to my mother about it. mom, what do you think people would say? and she said, doesn t matter. doesn t matter. what do you say? what does your heart say? you have come together, according to god s plan and as sophisticated as roger was, he didn t know how his family would take this. he used to say, you know, maybe