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I went through acute withdrawal from anxiety medication alone at home during the pandemic ‘Following a month-long taper, my symptoms now include tinnitus, 72-hour migraines and panic.’ Photograph: Matt Rourke/AP ‘Following a month-long taper, my symptoms now include tinnitus, 72-hour migraines and panic.’ Photograph: Matt Rourke/AP Wed 30 Dec 2020 02.00 EST Last modified on Thu 31 Dec 2020 07.28 EST I remember little about the past nine years. What I do remember is garbled, like it’s trapped deep underwater, or like my own memories aren’t quite mine. Everything prior to that time remains perfectly intact. I can remember the street I lived on in San Francisco a decade ago but the past five years are largely featureless. It has only been in the last months of this year, during the pandemic, that I have begun to reacquire any clarity, and the desire for clarity.

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