my heart cries out in desperation to you. this would be more than i can bear. i know you are not a cruel god. what purposes would there be? could my heart deceive me? could i not know my own daughter? oh, god, help me. you are all i have. please give me laurie back. what must that have been like when you started to doubt? agonizing. first of all, you ve been on this emotional roller coaster for five weeks. and we still weren t at the end of it and feeling like we re getting little glimpses of laura, and it s still a long