monica lewinsky participated, sharing private details about how her relationship with bill clinton began and ended. it s not as if it didn t register with me that he was the president. obviously it did. but i think in one way the moment we were actually in the back office for the first time, the truth is i think it meant more to me that someone who other people desired desired me. joining me now, political reporter jonathan allen. he wrote the book on hillary clinton s campaign shattered. also, katherine louie and eugene scott. jon, you know the clinton world here. monica lewinsky references an interview from here on nbc who spoke with former president bill clinton and remember he asked about the apology. clinton got very sort of defensive and prickly about it and monica lewinsky writes about how she feels disappointed not necessarily by bill clinton but for him.