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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140806

The show, before we do anything, its been a long summer. Weve got good news. Good news. They dont even believe it. [laughter] just sitting there waiting. Good news . Ill give you that. The summer started out a little doomsdayy. You have your putin being sanctioned. Hes calming down, maybe putting a shirt on. [laughter] you have a ceasefire finally in gaza. Oh, please let it hold. Time for everybody to take a breath, calm down. Its all good. Ebola alert. Fastgrowing Ebola Outbreak. One of the most feared and deadly diseases on earth. Surging out of control. Jon what the [bleeped] oh, my god. What the [bleeped]. [applause] [bleeped] thats going to make a good gift. All right. [bleeped]. First it was war. Then it was plaismg were either in the end times or a scifi original movie. Were all in danger. The World Trade Organization reports there are now 1,603 cases in west africa. [laughter] jon oh, well, thats terrible for those countries. I didnt realize. All right. I guess i wont be needin

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140807

From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] jon welcome. Thank you very much. Welcome to the daily show. Very excited to see you here tonight. We have a tremendous show. Weve been planning it almost all day. My name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, helen thorpe. She is the author of soldier girls the battles of three women at home and at war. But first, before we even get to the show, before we do anything, its been a long summer. Weve got good news. Good news. They dont even believe it. [laughter] just sitting there waiting. Good news . Ill give you that. The summer started out a little doomsdayy. You have your putin being sanctioned. Hes calming down, maybe putting a shirt on. [laughter] you have a ceasefire finally in gaza. Oh, please let it hold. Time for everybody to take a breath, calm down. Its all good. Ebola alert. Fastgrowing Ebola Outbr

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Transcripts For KQED PBS NewsHour 20140328

Most acclaimed singers, the grammywinner Angelique Kidjo we transform africa, completely, by educating more women. Because we need new leadership. Woodruff those are just some of the stories were covering on tonights pbs newshour. Major funding for the pbs newshour has been provided by and with the ongoing support of these institutions and foundations. And. And friends of the newshour. This program was made possible by the corporation for public broadcasting. And by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. Thank you. Woodruff the search for the missing malaysian airliner may be getting warmer nearly three weeks after the plane disappeared. The australian Maritime Safety authority, amsa, shifted its focus almost 700 miles to the northeast today, and planes quickly radioed in new discoveries. John sparks of independent television news, reports from perth, australia. Reporter the search for any sign of the missing malaysian aerials mh370 has been lifted 11 kilometers to th

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Transcripts For KQED PBS NewsHour 20140329

Most acclaimed singers, the grammywinner Angelique Kidjo we transform africa, completely, by educating more women. Because we need new leadership. Woodruff those are just some of the stories were covering on tonights pbs newshour. Major funding for the pbs newshour has been provided by and with the ongoing support of these institutions and foundations. And. And friends of the newshour. This program was made possible by the corporation for public broadcasting. And by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. Thank you. Woodruff the sear for the missing malaysian airliner may be getting warmer nearly three weeks after the plane disappeared. The australian Maritime Safety authority, amsa, shifted its focus almost 700 miles to the northeast today, and planes quickly radioed in new discoveries. John sparks of independent television news, reports from perth, australia. Reporter the search for any sign of the missing malaysian aerials mh370 has been lifted 11 kilometers to the

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140813

Doomsdayy. You have your putin being sanctioned. Hes calming down, maybe putting a shirt on. [laughter] you have a ceasefire finally in gaza. Oh, please let it hold. Time for everybody to take a breath, calm down. Its all good. Ebola alert. Fastgrowing Ebola Outbreak. One of the most feared and deadly diseases on earth. Surging out of control. Jon what the [bleeped] oh, my god. What the [bleeped]. [applause] [bleeped] thats going to make a good gift. All right. [bleeped]. First it was war. Then it was plaismg were either in the end times or a scifi original movie. Were all in danger. The World Trade Organization reports there are now 1,603 cases in west africa. [laughter] jon oh, well, thats terrible for those countries. I didnt realize. All right. I guess i wont be needing this. Why dont i just cut it up for parts because you got cut the hood up before you throw it away, otherwise i think dolphins get stuck in it or something. [laughter] there are new fears tonight about the Ebola Out

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