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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170203

[ light laughter ] things have changed since last year, phil. [ laughter ] thats right, today was groundhog day. The ground hog looked down and saw six more executive orders. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump spoke at the National Prayer breakfast this morning. Of course, ever since he was elected, every breakfast is a prayer breakfast. [ laughter ] please, god, dont let these be my last fruit loops. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump today had lunch with Harley Davidson executives. Oh, i guess thats why he was wearing that helmet. [ laughter ] i want a Motorcycle Helmet gold, no strap. [ laughter ] according to President Trumps doctor, trump takes four different pills every day. Well, its actually one pill cut into four pieces that are small enough for him to hold. [ laughter ] animal [ applause ] animal animal planets puppy bowl is this weekend, featuring starting lineup cooper, timber, and gronk. [ laughter ] analysts are noting that instagram is the only major social

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170203

[ light laughter ] things have changed since last year, phil. [ laughter ] thats right, today was groundhog day. The ground hog looked down and saw six more executive orders. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump spoke at the National Prayer breakfast this morning. Of course, ever since he was elected, every breakfast is a prayer breakfast. [ laughter ] please, god, dont let these be my last fruit loops. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump today had lunch with Harley Davidson executives. Oh, i guess thats why he was wearing that helmet. [ laughter ] i want a Motorcycle Helmet gold, no strap. [ laughter ] according to President Trumps doctor, trump takes four different pills every day. Well, its actually one pill cut into four pieces that are small enough for him to hold. [ laughter ] animal [ applause ] animal animal planets puppy bowl is this weekend, featuring starting lineup cooper, timber, and gronk. [ laughter ] analysts are noting that instagram is the only major social

Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170203

[ light laughter ] things have changed since last year, phil. [ laughter ] thats right, today was groundhog day. The ground hog looked down and saw six more executive orders. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump spoke at the National Prayer breakfast this morning. Of course, ever since he was elected, every breakfast is a prayer breakfast. [ laughter ] please, god, dont let these be my last fruit loops. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump today had lunch with Harley Davidson executives. Oh, i guess thats why he was wearing that helmet. [ laughter ] i want a Motorcycle Helmet gold, no strap. [ laughter ] according to President Trumps doctor, trump takes four different pills every day. Well, its actually one pill cut into four pieces that are small enough for him to hold. [ laughter ] animal animal animal planets puppy bowl is this weekend, featuring starting lineup cooper, timber, and gronk. [ laughter ] analysts are noting that instagram is the only major social Media Networ

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170211

It will be the First Political memoir written entirely in all caps. [ laughter ] according to a recent report, u. S. Bacon reserves have hit a 50 year low. I cant talk now, chris, said trump, trying to get off the phone. [ laughter ] but fair warning, they will kick you out of ihop. [ laughter ] a team of researchers in the netherlands recently built a 46footlong bridge made with cannabis hemp, finally, a bridge everybody wants to burn. [ light laughter ] uh, i think i downloaded that one. Said everyone using regular tinder. [ laughter and applause ] orangutan, orangutan, orangutan. Gibbon. A ferret, you guys, a ferret. [ light laughter ] a ferret is recovering after receiving a heart pacemaker, during a surgery at kansas state university. [ audience aws ] the bad news, it wasnt for him. [ laughter ] you gave it to a what . [ light laughter ] i was on a waiting list. A ferret . [ light laughter ] i was going to say something, but its well, she died right after the picture. [ audience o

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170211

It will be the First Political memoir written entirely in all caps. [ laughter ] according to a recent report, u. S. Bacon reserves have hit a 50 year low. I cant talk now, chris, said trump, trying to get off the phone. [ laughter ] but fair warning, they will kick you out of ihop. [ laughter ] a team of researchers in the netherlands recently built a 46footlong bridge made with cannabis hemp, finally, a bridge everybody wants to burn. [ light laughter ] uh, i think i downloaded that one. Said everyone using regular tinder. [ laughter and applause ] orangutan, orangutan, orangutan. Gibbon. A ferret, you guys, a ferret. [ light laughter ] a ferret is recovering after receiving a heart pacemaker, during a surgery at kansas state university. [ audience aws ] the bad news, it wasnt for him. [ laughter ] you gave it to a what . [ light laughter ] i was on a waiting list. A ferret . [ light laughter ] i was going to say something, but its well, she died right after the picture. [ audience o

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