General and former commander of centcom, anthony zinni. He has a book, before the first shots are fired. Thats his new book. I only can say, too late the pentagon said airstrikes against i. S. I. S. And syria had begun. We have been waiting for weeks and here it is tonight. Jon ooh, its so anticipated it was the iphone 6 of wars laughter its expensive, a little bigger. A little more unwieldy than you thought it was going to be. laughter its going to be at least a twoyear commitment. applause kind of feels like you just bleep the last one. laughter but at least its not the watch. So how did the new Product Launch go . They attacked i. S. I. S. Targets four locations in syria, headquarters, buildings, storage facility, finance center, supply trucks, Army Vehicles and training compounds. Jon i. S. I. S. Has a finance center . I. S. I. S. Has been in existence for, like, a month. They have a finance center . No, no, that is for bombings and mass killings. You want Small Business loans, tha
We have been waiting for weeks and here it is tonight. Jon ooh, its so anticipated it was the iphone 6 of wars laughter its expensive, a little bigger. A little more unwieldy than you thought it was going to be. laughter its going to be at least a twoyear commitment. applause kind of feels like you just bleep the last one. laughter but at least its not the watch. So how did the new Product Launch go . They attacked i. S. I. S. Targets four locations in syria, headquarters, buildings, storage facility, finance center, supply trucks, Army Vehicles and training compounds. Jon i. S. I. S. Has a finance center . I. S. I. S. Has been in existence for, like, a month. They have a finance center . No, no, that is for bombings and mass killings. You want Small Business loans, thats down the hall. So we hit four location force a very narrowlyfocused, minimalist approach. They described the strike as very successful and only the beginning. We also got a menu of weaponry. Tomahawk missiles. F22, f1
I dont know if youre watching but it is a red wedding out there. A blood bath beyond anything you can imagine. I was over at cnn today. I said something on air and it created a bit of a story. I said this did you vote . Jon no. No. I just moved. I dont even know where my thing is now. laughter jon let me explain something. First of all. Ive known where my thing is since i was 13. laughter but i did vote today. I did know where my i was being flipped and it kind of took off and, you know what . I want to apologize because i shouldnt have been flip about that because i wasnt clear enough i was kidding and it sent a message that i didnt think voting was important or i didnt think it was a big issue, and i do, and i did vote and i was being flip and i shouldnt have done that. That was stupid. So i apologize. applause anyway. Now, i want to get to some results. In new york, Governor Cuomo was running for reelection and won eight weeks ago, but i thought we would announce it tonight. Its clo
applause kind of feels like you just bleep the last one. laughter but at least its not the watch. So how did the new Product Launch go . They attacked i. S. I. S. Targets four locations in syria, headquarters, buildings, storage facility, finance center, supply trucks, Army Vehicles and training compounds. Jon i. S. I. S. Has a finance center . I. S. I. S. Has been in existence for, like, a month. They have a finance center . No, no, that is for bombings and mass killings. You want Small Business loans, thats down the hall. So we hit four location force a very narrowlyfocused, minimalist approach. They described the strike as very successful and only the beginning. We also got a menu of weaponry. Tomahawk missiles. F22, f15, f18s. Jon all the fs were there you know what . F those guys thats what i say laughter ahead of all this, the big worry, is we would have to go into this fight alone. But you know what . Thats what friends are for whispering were told four arab nations are also fly
[flies buzzing] poor jim didnt make it out alive. [gurgling, flatulence] again again thats better than [bleep] six flags screw those rich bastards. If we cant keep the poor out, let em pour in. Argh step right up, ye poor people ride the sunken monkey aah [keys clacking, typewriter bell dings] cheers and applause jon welcome to a special live Election Night edition of the daily show. Im jon stewart. Tonight, the 2014 midterm results weve all been. Well a handful of people have been waiting for. I mean the senate. Democrats are about to lose the good senate restrooms. laughter later on, were going to have the chairman of the Republican National committee. He will be giddy. I predict his interview will be the worst part of the greatest part of his life. laughter i dont know if youre watching but it is a red wedding out there. A blood bath beyond anything you can imagine. I was over at cnn today. I said something on air and it created a bit of a story. I said this did you vote . Jon no. N