Tonights debate was not the wrestlemania event most people were expecting. I think maybe somebody swapped trumps adderall out for tylenol. Donald trump, by the way, is the only president who gets marks for good behavior. [ laughter ] like when you bring a 2yearold on a plane. He tried very hard to resemble a human being tonight. The topics for this debate were american families, race in america, fighting covid19, climate change, national security, and dipping sauces. [ laughter ] the president requested the last one. Unfortunately for trump, he knows very little about any of these subjects. The only thing destructive could have really won this debate is if the topics were squandering your inheritance, shower head pressure, and combing your hair like this. [ applause ] i thought the moderate der a veg job, Kristin Welker handled them well. One of the reasons the president is so hard to wrangle is he just makes things up. Trump has been averaging, someone counted this, up, more than 50 f
Anyway, coming up on tonights show apple announces a new iphone, jaboukie youngwhite is working the polls, and why donald trump is threatening to hook up with you. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with the Technology News that im super excited about today. I finally found my remote. Yo, that was killing me. I was watching spanish soccer, match, but then my tv was stuck on spanish tv the entire week. Me he sentido muy frustrado porque no puedo hablar ni un poco de espanol and this also happened today, apple announcing new gadgets. Anchor apple unveiling its highly anticipated iphone 12, featuring four new models with 5g capability, ceramic shield, and mag safe wireless charging. Reporter they did announce four new iphones the iphone 12, the iph
This is all your fault, kyle. You screwed up the second act. Me . It was your stupidass writing. Face it, stans crappy singing is what sunk us. [all arguing] what the hell is this . [arguing continues] this has got to be fake. Screw this. This is just stupid. Oh, dont start with me, kenny fake on, everybody. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is tuesday, the 13th of october, which means if you live in kentucky or texas, early voting has officially begun. And just think about how nice it would be to get your vote in early, people. Then you wont have to worry about it anymore, and you can get back to worrying about coronavirus. And climate change. And the Supreme Court. And wildfire. And scarecrows. I know theyre designed to scare crows, but they scare the shit out of me anyway, coming up on tonights show apple announces a new iphone, jaboukie youngwhite is working the polls, and why donald trump is threatening to hook up with you. So lets do this, people
Former team in the nba finals. And history being made in the nfl with women coaching on both sidelines. Its monday, september 28th. Big weekend in the sports arena. I cant say i know much about basketball, but i can say once that man goes to a team, that team goes to the finals. Right. As someone whos had the pleasure of seeing him at the nba finals when cleveland went, i will say hes so fun to watch, and its great for l. A. And i noticed that on the twitter, where i dont know why i keep doing it to myself, going to that thing, twitter. But in cleveland, in miami, everybodys talking smack. Smack, really . Yes, can you believe it . Oh, that man. They need to give him his roses while hes still here. Yes. Celebrate him. Lebron james, hes the king. Well talk about all of that in just a moment. We begin with the flat denial from President Trump dismissing an explosive report on his taxes as fake news. The New York Times is reporting that donald trump paid little or no federal income taxes f
Of arizona and bank of america. Thank you, president robins and thank you all for coming here tonight. Its a thrill to see you here in Centennial Hall and as dr. Robbins said, we have ambitious plans to think about the arts in new and transformative ways here on campus. I am thrilled to be leading arizona arts and our new gateway to arts experience, assets and Educational Programs at the university of arizona. The core of our mission in arizona is to ensure that all students, regardless of major have meaningful experience in the arts and the david human can early change in transform five ways it is a prime example to integrating the arts into all aspects of the University Experience and to making it a true arts destination. Tonight, were in for such a treat as we hear from two Pulitzer Prize winners john medium in kenneth you can early as doctor robbins said, david will collaborate and work closely with faculty in aerz arz arts and the college of soech and behavioral, archive as an Inv