the fear that i would grow up to hurt people as you did, i hold no hatred or anger towards you, only hurt and sorrow for the lives that were lost. did you ever give that to him? no. you don t think jim is in there anymore? no. he s this guy now. this was incredibly difficult to deal with 30 years ago and it will be difficult to deal with tomorrow, but i no longer hide. i know longer keep it a secret. today, jen is very open about the struggles in her life. she inherited her father s mood disorder and takes medication to manage her anxiety and depression. would you say your entire childhood was defined by what your father did? absolutely. what he had done and who he had become loomed over me. the incredible energy it took to lie and keep this a secret, the
you want it touched up a little bit? go ahead and look at me. this is jen carson. at 43 years old, jen has returned home to care for her mother, with whom she share as close bond and a dark history. the reason i was helping clean out my mom s house and i found a bunch of girl scout patches, and i also found some pictures. jen s childhood started out like many others, with a mom and dad who loved her. those are my parents, jim and lynn. that s me. my mom was teaching and father staying home with me. there s your dad doing your hair. yeah, i remember him doing my hair every morning. there would be pigtails and he brush mid hair. how would you describe your relationship with your dad as a kid? in those early years, we had
the last time jen saw her father was the one time she visited him in prison more than 20 years ago. at the time, he showed no remorse, and today she refuses to speak with him. for years, jen thought the carsons would never get out. but in 2014, a new california state program allowed elderly inmates the possibility of parole. in 2015, michael and susan received hearings. susan was denied and michael will be seeing the board again in 2020. do you believe that over 60 years old, your father is still a danger to society? i believe that if he were released that he would be harmed or he would harm someone else,
depression, school failure, substance abuse. and you know what? i m really open. i am mentally ill. i have a mental illness, everybody. is that scaring you? it shouldn t. when we get to a place where we can talk about that, like other people talk about their diabetes, then we can move forward, because you know what? i am not ashamed of being mentally ill. i didn t put that stigma on that, somebody else put that stigma on me. today s crowd is somewhat unique. while some have gathered out of pure interest, others connect to jen s message more deeply. my grandson s father is in prison for murder. and he doesn t know. he s nine years old and he does president know. doesn t know. we don t feel it s time to tell him something like that. i don t know where you begin. how do you tell him? just as the mother-in-law to someone who is in prison for murder, how does that affect you? my biggest fear is him buying
i was living this horrible existence, and he was going dom save me. and you still loved him? and i still loved him. yeah. so, jen, where are we going now? we re headed to my old elementary school. this is where i was a fourth grader when my mother came and told me about his arrest of crimes. when was the last time you were here? 35 years. i have just avoided coming over here because it is completely intertwined in the worst day of my life. okay. how does it feel to be here right now? i don t know. it s strange. i mean, we re standing where my