grandma. and so my not fathoming what could be in that box i said okay. we ll open it up tomorrow then and let s get rid of it, whatever it is. and the next morning he came down from upstairs and showed me and there was pornographic it will literature in there and i said okay, get rid of it now, i don t want to see any more of it down here. and he said okay, dad. that was the end of that incident. i didn t realize what was in that box. what was in the box? well, as i learned later, after the trial, it was it was one of the human heads. one of the victims which he then took to his work and put in the locker. i told jeff i can t imagine what
oh, that was really tough. he was dishevelled, beard, hadn t slept, there were people screaming in the cells and he just stood there like a limp rag. what did you say to each other? i went up to him and i said jeff, i love you. i hulged him, i cried, he didn t seem to be emotionally moved, he seemed like he was just wrung out. did he hug you back? as well as he could, he was shackled in front of me so he couldn t hug but he pressed forward. but it just seemed like he was just his soul had dropped out of him. what were his first words to you when he saw you? i m just so sorry. i really screwed up.
you do need help, mental help and we ll try to get you into this place to get you the proper help. how did you feel when you first heard about the crimes, the nature of the crimes he committed? i think it was sort of a feeling as if i were just floating above myself and observing some other person. as i was i were annumb. it was a total shock. you went numb? complete numbness. in the moment the pain has come through what is it you felt? i felt all these different emotions come over me. how am i going to face victims,
apparently out of frustration so apparently jeff was very disturbed over the arguments. i have no doubt he was very disturbed. there are thousands, literally thousands, of children who grow up exposed to these kinds of problems. and worse. and worse. and yet they don t go on to do the kinds of things that jeff did. in and of themselves they re not the i guess we would say not the only factors. but, you know, everyone s an individual, i guess, aren t they? but there may have been more important unknown to us yet trigger points that make jeff more unique than the usual case. when you think back on those times, the arguments and the possible effect it had on the kids is it does it cause you anguish? it makes me sick that we didn t have a more ozzie and
this unending, unknown why did this snap what s the purpose of this happening? the horribleness that so many people have had to go through. i wish i could come up with an answer. that would be useful. it isn t useful to speculate on what small tiny little thing, did we spank our child and that turned him into a as they called me a monster maker. jeff was raised with all the love and care and concern that any child could be raised with and what happened to him? i don t know. i wish i knew. i d give anything know. when you ask yourself that question, joyce, when you re alone with yourself and you wonder why it happened, what