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Analysis by Ian Kerner
Updated 3:44 AM ET, Tue May 25, 2021
It s natural for couples fight sometime, and it has been even more likely over the past year. is a licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of relationships for CNN. His most recent book is a guide for couples, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. (CNN)I often wish I could hang a sign outside my now virtual office that reads, Leave your guns at the door.
Not unlike a saloon owner in the Old West, I want the couples I see to take a breath and view the space as neutral territory. Of course, that was difficult for many of us even in normal times and the pandemic has only made things worse.
Our lives are changing, again, and so must our rituals that give it meaning
Birthdays. Weddings. Graduations. When the Covid-19 pandemic hit last year, we watched as old milestones and the rituals we depended on to mark them seemed to vanish into the ether.
If you’re like many people, the early days of the pandemic, and the grief contained in them, likely left you feeling adrift. When I say “grief,” I don’t only mean the devastating loss of life. It’s natural to mourn lost opportunities and celebrations, too.
Almost as soon as we watched some beloved rituals disappear, humans began to do what we do best. We improvised. We got creative. We grew. And soon, whole new rituals were born, from those that rely on technology Zoom cocktail hour, anyone? to others, like peaceful walks in the woods, that depend on nature.