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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Bit and a chance to are tate the video stock all the better. My point is this our incessant trumpgazing has caused us to miss important nontrump news. Historic deal the Nuclear Agreement that could change the world. The accord agreed to by iran and six world powers is intended on keeping iran from producing a Nuclear Weapon for at least a decade. After 20 months of negotiations. After years of sanctions the president said today that diplomacy had triumphed. Jon oh my god thats such great news unless is diplomacy the name of our new drone by any chance . Is that of course not. Welcome back, iran. A huge milestone could bring you back into the Global Community while also helping to ease fears that you will blow up said Global Community. laughter iran has promised to freeze their Nuclear Program disabled their plutonium reactor, cut their centrifuges. It is a landmark diplomatic accomplishment. Sort of. Put that another way. This is a bad deal. Awful deal. Terrible deal. What a stunning h

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20240622

Man. Yay. laughter yay. laughter im tired. Another guy . Really . laughter okay. What do we have, like 43 guys running . Okay. J. F. K. , man john freakin kasich. laughter okay. You got to use that. What do we know . Well, hes the governor of ohio. Its a very important swing state. Hes known for working across the aisle. Hes open to immigration reform. And his state took some obamacare. Okay. So far hes okasich in my book. laughter seriously, heres my book. Right here. And there you go. laughter here we go. There we go. See . So okasich. Says it right here. cheers and applause no no, no. You guys think i make this [ bleep ] up. Everything i say has been thoroughly sourced. All right . laughter every time a candidate on either side enters the race, i think, how does this impact me . I was just at wendys on saturday up here on hudson avenue, and two wonderful africanamerican fellows were there. laughter larry hmm. Africanamerican fellows. laughter okay. That is the safest possible way of

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20240622

Jon before we go, we are, as offnow shoot auctioning off 19 suits previously worn by me with the wonderful stewart smell, going to the Achilles Freedom Team who run races all over the country, they do incredible work. Ill never need those suits again. When im out of here, onepiece swimsuits. Here it is your moment of zen. I do not want to sell the mother house and the receiptng sponsored by Comedy Central tonightly everyones asking, what really happened to sandra bland . And at this point, the police have about as much credibility as taylor swift on black twitter. laughter seriously, this story is so depressing, im watching the Mckinney Pool Party video just to cheer myself up. laughter how do you go from not signaling a lane change to getting locked in a jail cell with a 5,000 bond . Thats not a setup for a joke. Someone needs to give me a [ bleep ] answer. cheers and applause this is the nightly show. Lets do this cheers and applause cheers and applause audience chanting larry cheers

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Bach. Well get a chance to talk about that. But first the democratic process. laughter it is one of our most sacred obligations to protecting the integrity and the health of the great nation that we love so dealer. Dearly. laughter the primaries the elections for the presidency of the United States of america it is a task we must undertake with great discretion and seriousness of purpose. bleep laughter this guy is so much fun then then i see rick perry the other day. He put glasses on so people will think hes smart and it just doesnt work jon watching this man run for president its like eating ice cream on a roller coaster made of blowjobs laughter it is so much fun. By the way, youre welcome, great adventure. laughter i expect by summer 2017 to ride your new Great American filatiator. laughter but it cant just be trump weve got to be responsible and turn our heads back and im sure as the coverage has been dominated by trump that we are missing new and exciting candidates for presiden

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20240622

You guys are such a great audience here. I love this. cheers and applause no, its great. As we all know, american Race Relations have been pretty tumultuous lately. Our weekly racial incidents are starting to feel Something Like an unlimited appetizer deal at a chain restaurant grotesque, nauseating, and neverending. laughter with the Racial Climate changing so rapidly, we thought it would be helpful to go to our inhouse racial meteorologist, gusty hail. laughter cheers and applause hows it going gusty . Thanks, larry. Were dealing with plenty of racial atmospheric pressure pretty much everywhere. Right . Things are heating up, larry. laughter so its okay to take off that hoodie folks. Seriously, take it off, because they will shoot you. laughter larry whats racial atmospheric pressure . Well, for instance, donald trump calling larry other way. The other direction. laughter its a new map. laughter larry okay. Donald trump calling mexicans rapists has really heated things up out west an

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