Show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a good show for you tonight. Our show is aamazing. We have an incredible documentarian Jehane Noujaim is on the show. Shes done this amazing documentary about the freedom and democracy movements in egypt. Its incredible. You have to check it out. But before we go into freedom and democracy obviously theres another question plaguing this country. Corporations are they people . Corporations are people, my friend. Jon thank you for that you dapper stranger. [laughter] if only there was some way to prove that corporations were not people. Show their inability to love. To show that they lack awareness of their own mortality. To see what they do when you walk in on them masturbating. [ laughter ] are they embarrassed . Or like our nonhuman ape cousins do they just keep plugging away . [laughter] while eerily maintaining eye contact. Seriously dude i was just on my way to the reptile house. They are oddly human, i have to say. One way to distinguish corp
Look at this one here. Huh . Look at this one here, huh . Beautiful lady. What i wouldnt do to her. [laughs] you can see full chin cleavage on this one, huh . Yeah, yeah. Good night, everybody. Have a good one. Good night. [cheers and applause] [soul music] im gonna do my one line here oh, yeah. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily y show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a good show for you tonight. Our show is aamazing. We have an incredible documentarian Jehane Noujaim is on the show. Shes done this amazing documentary about the freedom and democracy movements in egypt. Its incredible. You have to check it out. But before we go into freedom and democracy obviously theres another question plaguing this country. Corporations are they people . Corporations are people, my friend. Jon thank you for that you dapper stranger. [laughter] if only there
You. My name is jon stewart. One of our guests tonight author reza aslan is on the program this evening. Well pick off where we left off last night with the United States congress. If you tuned in you might have seen this how this, the 113th congress is perhaps the Worst Congress [ laughter ] in the history of not just this nation [laughter] so we thought we would check in on what todays congressional bleep ry was what do they do today . Pass a resolution demanding preapproval of all president ial handshakes . [laughter] refuse to vote on anything except whether to add cronuts to the congressional brunch. [laughter] sitting around saying that sax by chambliss is an acceptable name. Its not. Its not okay. Its just not okay. [laughter] my apologies to apologies to ths family. What is congress up to . Congress may be ready to call a truce in the budget wars. A bipartisan budget deal has been reached to avoid another Government Shutdown. [ laughter ] [laughter] jon deal . Deal . What type