a.m. santa is coming to town. santa! oh my god. santa here? i know him. i know him. jesse: jolly old nic. cookies put away and time for the real holiday to start the day after christmas. it s perfect for kicking back in your sweats. eating some leftovers, recovering from the chaos that was christmas morning. christmas come officially. we plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled. get a tie this year? wow, whoopi, a necklace. we at primetime hope you bundled with the tree lit up take time to thank you our viewers. you guys are our gift this season. primetime is a show for the people. we wouldn t be anything without you. and you have to admit, america, we have gotten pretty close this past year.
kris kringles. ho ho ho. ho ho ho. oh my god, you exposed me already. okay. you are number one on the naughty list. what s the game plan today. obviously get drunk. what the hell else is the plan? [bleep] to violently drink. what are you drinking? everything handed to me. let s put the ass back in christmas. does santa have a drinking problem. the santa right here might have a drinking problem. is he downing the drinks. do you see that beer belly? he has something going on. i think santa feels a little buzz. jesse: why is santa so jolly all of the times. he knows where the naughty girls live. santa is a peeping tom. that s all i have to say about it. he gives gifts to kids. look. he has a bag of those. put your sack away. what do you mean by that.
what the [bleep] be did you say? santa is a big guy he doesn t get fat shamed, why? probably diabetes type 1 i would assume. santa was invented before the [bleep] stupid stupid [bleep] any man who is giving me presents for free shouldn t get that shame. boy, i love hearing you say that have you been naughty or nice this year. pretty good. yeah? except for now. nice. why are your friends saying you are naughty. liar, liar pants on fire. what have you done? don t worry about it. i m just a raging [bleep]. that s okay. i have committed a lot of tax fraud. i was naughty because i [bleep] nashville. we are going to nashville. have you sat on nissan taps lap today? yeah. [laughter] i sat on a couple santa s lap today if you know what i mean. by the end of the night somebody s going to sit on my lap for sure.