Rishi Sunak was sounding tough on refusing to give Boris Johnson all of the peerages he wanted, in much the same way that a nerd talks tough when the bullies aren’t around to flush his head down the toilet. Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst sighed wearily ‘Rishi’s authority as Prime Minster is a firm as a supply teacher over-extending a damp single ply toilet roll. Nadine Dorries says she’s resigned but hasn’t yet – I bet the Chiltern Hundreds are devastated. Rishi calls her Nodame instead of N
A photograph showing Chuck 3, Wills 5 and G-Dog 7 in bethroned opulence has reminded all non-royal Brits that, fundamentally, they are worthless, boot-licking scum. Forelock tuggers across the land got a quasi-sexual thrill from the snap as they saw enough King to last the UK until the 22nd century. By this time, the royals will presumably have transferred their consciousness into heavily armed cybernetic "killer" robots to ensure sufficient servility amongst the remaining population. That this
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