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It's not the dying I mind, Cheryl Hauser used to say. It's the leaving. She left us this month. On her own terms, in her own time; surrounded by as much love, music and kindness in death as in life. This is her parting gift to us. A chance to talk about the part of life nobody wants to think about. The end. "We would sing to her and rub her feet and her hands," said Cheryl's daughter, Wendy .

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