given at but he is president of the united states. he certainly, april. and this is just a difficult time. is there a playbook for this kind of thing? there is absolutely not. this is a time that right now unfortunately we re talking about this instead of honoring these brave hero. and the right words. i m going to bring you gentlemen in. april you okay? you sound like you re very emotional about this. i m okay, don. okay. jason, you re a former army captain. in your opinion, he knew what he sign upped for, but when it happens, it hurts. that acceptable way to speak to a widow? it s nauseating. but you know what? i ve heard people say this before when they i think we probably all have. we ve all heard people find out about soldiers dying and say something like this. and so i think i think it s important the talk about why people say that. people say that because they re seeking emotional distance from the situation. people say that because they want to avoid feeling t