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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Community call hedging our bets. People keep saying i remind them of someone, and i finally figured it out. Im a cross between walta mercado, and a troll doll. Just so you know, i didnt actually dye my hair. I got scared, because my postmates guy showed up without a mask. Mayor garcetti just said that los angeles may face another stayathome order. A second lockdown. Here in l. A. , were just calling it a reboot. Fuller house. If youre like me and you didnt bother to get in shape for beach season, everybody with d cups, were all winners. You know, its not fair that rich people get to quarantine in huge mansions and poor people have to do it in tiny little apartments. I feel like this is the second time, we should switch it up, right . If you were in a bel air estate the first time . This time, a studio in compton. Trevor, pack your bags. And i want to say hello to my virtual amigo. The only mexican to ever marry a karen. Guillermo guillermo hi, everybody guillermo, what are you doing .

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Nikki its honestly not been so bad being stuck living in st. Louis with a couple in their 60s it could be worse, at least its not these two. My mom would never wear horizontal stripes. I gotta say though, not much has changed since the last time i lived at home. I still sleep late, my room is a mess, i steal their weed. The main difference is now if im going to my room to masturbate, i say mom, dad, im going to my room to masturbate. I cant watch any more down to earth with zac efron with you guys. Ol glaz dogs gonna finish this ep alone. As grateful as i am to have this time to get reacquainted with both my parents and the zack morris poster over my bed, im not pretending that any of this is worth it. I love how so many people are making this crisis about themselves. I keep hearing girls Say Something like this is a sign from the universe that i needed to slow down. And its like, no becca, i dont think a half a Million People died so you could recommit to your yoga practice. Ive even

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Couple days before the quarantine when i taped an episode of who wants to be a millionaire where i accidentally locked in a wrong answer and this happened. No no no no the day after i taped that, i decided that instead of going back to my place in new york, id go to my parents house in st. Louis where i could stay for a week or two until this whole corona thing blew over. Heres footage of my reaction when i realized viruses dont blow over. No no no no its honestly not been so bad being stuck living in st. Louis with a couple in their 60s it could be worse, at least its not these two. My mom would never wear horizontal stripes. I gotta say though, not much has changed since the last time i lived at home. I still sleep late, my room is a mess, i steal their weed. The main difference is now if im going to my room to masturbate, i say mom, dad, im going to my room to masturbate. I cant watch any more down to earth with zac efron with you guys. Ol glaz dogs gonna finish this ep alone. As gr

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Transcripts For KGO ABC7 News 1100PM Repeat 20240712

Come out to tell these fools who dont want to wear masks that if youre going to wear the mask or youre going home. Reporter more than 110 could notra costa residents have died from covid19 and now two and a half times the number of people hospitalized in the county compare to the beginning of the month. If we dont get serious, ashes, ashes, we all fall down. Reporter in lafayette, mask wearing compliance was good but far from perfect. Still, could notra costa residents were not so sure about the messaging. I know i need to wear a mask and i try to educate people. But i dont think it is ramming it down peoples throats. He treats sick and dying people every day in stockton. I would encourage people to wear a mask. Reporter what about bringing in the National Guard toit. Reporter another idea that came out of the press conference was a Youth Ambassador Program for final to ambassador theres will be paid. I wouldnt waste my time. Reporter it is advice some teens could clearly use, this 15y

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

I have a terrible urinary tract infection. Nothing comes out. You know, guest hosting a talk show in a Global Pandemic isnt a job many people would say yes to, but it could be worse. I could be hosting the peoples Choice Awards again. No okay. Nice crew you got there, jimmy. Theyre yelling through masks, by the way. A lot of soft droplets are flying. It was a dark time. I apologize. Im here because jimmy is gone for the summer. He bought part of wyoming, and its way more responsibility than he thought it would be. Hes currently on horseback in a dumb hat like an extra on that show yellowstone. Jimmy, stop trying to impress kevin costner. Its embarrassing. But fear not, jimmy will be back in a couple of months, probably sporting his look from the early 2000s. Oh, my lord. Did you have an apartment above a Hometown Buffet . This whole situation is very weird but im not the only person in l. A. Performing for absolutely no one. Last night the dodgers played the diamondbacks in a completel

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