think any time you think of yourself like that, itjust makes you scared. and i have to say, the last few years have been incredibly scary on a personal basis. first, with the pandemic, when i sort of found myself in an intermediary role between the government and the public and passing messages both ways, that was about how you designed the furlough programmes and gaps, gaps that are being missed, but also how to operate it and get it to the public. and then in the cost of living crisis, where i felt i had to call out a government which is not like i ve ever wanted to do. i am not a big political player. i don t do party politics. but i felt because of the subject and my subject area, i had to do it. and ifound it generally raises my anxiety levels, makes me feel uncomfortable. it makes me question myself all the time. and so when those phrases like this, literally, i mean. you mean it actually makes you anxious in a way. i don t particularly want to go into in a public forum, but cert