i was shocked. i should have just picked my bottles up and leave if i was looking for money. it wasn t about the money. it was about the love of michael. i have suffered a lot. there is no doubt about it. i don t hate michael. michael did not do me wrong. he did not want this to happen to me. whatever happened to michael when i was not there is probably his own misjudgment. and i believe that that clearly happened because he was illogical, he was irrational and he was in the withdrawal state of demerol that dr. klein was feeding him. you believe he gave himself the final dose? the premises wasn t breached there was no one else in the house, in the upper chambers with michael and myself. i was away from him. the record shows that. but again i ask, should you have been him? no. that s a good question. because i gave michael jackson 25 milligrams of propofol over three to five minutes. all of the doctors, seven doctors in the test trial showed that there could be no propoe foll pr