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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130122

Theyre ready for the pool. This is not what i envisioned. Im all about work, and the work we put into these cupcakes are really paying off in an amazing way. These cupcakes are having a party. [barking] brad brad is so confident. Hes like a completely new dog. Like, no one would ever know. When push comes to shove, i wouldnt trust my dogs Plastic Surgery with anybody but dr. Armond. Brad, you look absolutely gorgeous. The event cost 20,000, and it brought in 4,000, and i feel foolish. To see those cupcakes and brad come together in such an amazing way makes me realize how important your friendship is to me, and i love you so much. I love you too, liz. I would say we are bff. Ill treat you [explosion] ha ha. Good at bizness. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supre

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130123

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supreme court justice, thats right, today on the show, Supreme Court. Thank you very much Supreme Court Justice Sonnia Sotomayor cheers and applause unless i believe shes coming out here. Unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti teo nemesis Ronaiah Tuiasosopo or as the germans refer to him speaking nonsense . Some of you may be surprised to see a Supreme Court justice here, one, because she is a sitting Supreme Court justice and two because this afternoon she was in washington administering the public oath of office to Vice President biden. Doesnt it look like biden just wants to highfive her . That is probably the hardest part of swearing in biden is explaining to him that you dont actually get to swear. Hey, hey, dont wor

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130122

Well, kid . Well, if you put it that way. Come in, unit four what have you found . Nothing, sir. We just found some tremendous deals on cars nobody wants, thats all. Barkley, out. No but obama wasnt really elected. Dont you people care . [choral singing] obama is president again captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supreme court justice, thats right, today on the show, Supreme Court. Thank you very much Supreme Court Justice Sonnia Sotomayor cheers and applause unless i believe shes coming out here. Unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti teo nemesis Ronaiah Tuiasosopo or as the germans refer to him speaking nonsense . Some of you may be surprised to see a Supreme Court justice here, one, because she is a sitting Supreme Court justice and two because this aft

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130122

Theres not that many chances in your life where you get to see a problem and then eat that problem. I wouldnt have even fixed my car. Id wait for people to be like, what did you hit . So i could be like, this. [ laughter and applause ] all right, thank you guys very much. Youve been great. I really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supreme court justice, thats right, today on the show, Supreme Court. Thank you very much Supreme Court Justice Sonnia Sotomayor cheers and applause unless i believe shes coming out here. Unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti teo nemesis Ronaiah Tuiasosopo or as the germans refer to him speaking nonsense . Some of you may be surprised to see a Supreme Cou

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130129

Stephen thats it for the report, everybody. Dont forget to see zero dark thirty by Kathryn Bigelow and captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supreme court justice, thats right, today on the show, Supreme Court. Thank you very much Supreme Court Justice Sonnia Sotomayor cheers and applause unless i believe shes coming out here. Unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti teo nemesis Ronaiah Tuiasosopo or as the germans refer to him speaking nonsense . Some of you may be surprised to see a Supreme Court justice here, one, because she is a sitting Supreme Court justice and two because this afternoon she was in washington administering the public oath of office to Vice President biden. Doesnt it look like biden just wants to highfive her . That is probably the hardest

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