and hope she can make some positive turn in her life from here. janice lives in maine for most of the year and has been communicating with katie through letters. i reread them and reread them. i read them all the time. i take them with me when i travel and i just thought i d read them before i went in today. i never quite grasped the meaning of being grateful until i met chad. i know on the outside our relationship doesn t look so great, but i ve learned so much about myself and now i can say that i like myself. before i struggled with not feeling like i was good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, anything enough. i now know that i m enough. still have some more soul searching to do. i will grow and prosper before i die. i may be a rebel child, but who said i couldn t be a kick ass one? so how you doing without the drugs? good. i feel good. i don t think about it. too much.
but i got my track marks. it s just, wow, what am i doing? but still, i love it. i guess that s the addiction. i guess that s why they call it a disease i guess. katie has no idea she may be suffering from another disease as well. her husband, chad white, who s also serving time at the jail was recently diagnosed with hepatitis but hasn t told her yet. he s hopeful he ll be released within a few days and plans to visit her. i want to tell her face to face that i came up positive for hepatitis b and c and she needs to go to the clinic in jail. because they shot heroin together, there s a good chance katie could have hepatitis as well. in fact, she could have given the disease to chad. when you were using, did you ever share needles? with my husband, yes. i ve slipped up a couple other times. in pittsburgh, it was really
but katie has shown considerably less concern than chad. i m not totally freaked out or scared or anything. just something that i m going to have to deal with. in fact, katie has yet to report to the medical clinic to test for hepatitis. she fears a positive result will mean transferring to the infirmary for an indefinite period of time, forcing her to leave behind the good friends she s made in her housing unit. without them it would be very lonely, very depressing. you know, trying to get through this by yourself. there s no possible way she doesn t have it. it s impossible. chad is still living at the salvation army in downtown tampa. but today he s ridden his bike ten miles to the jail to see katie again. did you go get tested for your hepatitis? no. no. and the reason why is because you don t want to get moved out of that pod, huh? if i lose i don t want to make new friends.
families that i sold i didn t sell drugs to family likes that, you know. but regardless of the situation, there was an impact because somebody s father was buying or somebody s mother was buying it or somebody s daughter or somebody s granddaughter. you feel me? there s a responsibility there. but you got remember, too, that when you get saved, all your past is forgotten. it s thrown into the sea of forgetfulness to never be brought back again, in god s eyes. for families, dealing with a drug addicted member, forgetting is often difficult. we ve been to counselors, we ve been to mediation, we ve been to hospitals, we ve been to all kinds of drug rehabs and this and that. just nothing ever worked. katie ellis mother, janice, has come to visit her for the first time since katie s arrest for burglary and possession of drug paraphernalia. i still have mixed emotions, but i m happy for her that she s in a clean environment, clean being off drugs.
i need a black long-sleeved shirt to cover my tattoo. all like by friday. i haven t stolen anything since i ve been out i m not, like, you know me, i can get whatever i want, but i m not doing it. i m just, no. you ll figure it out. the only thing i wouldn t give up to see you, katie, is a job. you know what i mean? you already got one of those. i did. i m so happy. i m probably going to get two. you know, i might as well. idle hands. you know what i mean? now that he has a job, chad hopes to find a place to live so katie has a home when she s released. the one thing that helps me is that every day i accomplish something to make your life better, not mine. i m like completely i know. i tell people all the time, everything he does, he s doing it for me. listen. i have a minute and 30 seconds left. i love you, i love you more than life itself. you know i m out here for you. this is just a learning experience. everything happens for a reason. you know that, honey. i ju