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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130130

[cheers and applause] jon thats our show. Here it is your moment zen. Were looking for the best and brightest minds in entertainment and technology to tell stories, important stories. One were going to tell this summer is the man in the moon, captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, do states have to follow federal law . Only if it starts with simon says. Bailiff lf. [ laughter ] then, whats the latest news in the war on terror . The answer is redacted. [ laughter ] and my guest George Saunders wrote what the New York Times called the best book youll read this year. Jokes on them, im not reading any books this year. [ laughter ] eating lunch earlier can help you lose weight. Thats why i always eat tomorrows lunch tonight. [ laughter ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central this is the colbert report. [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the broadcast, everybody. Tha

Transcripts For KGO ABC News Good Morning America 20130908

Getting in on the action. Cant wait for those pet selfies. Yes, we worked on that all day yesterday. Way too much time. Good morning, america. Bianna golodryga along with dan harris. Also coming up, its the move that could stop a lot of impulsive late night decisions. A proposal if our Nations Capital that would require a 24hour waiting period for anyone who wants a th s s a tat piercing. Well have reaction to the plan. Needless to say, not everyone likes it. I wish that law was in place when i got the face tattoo. Hours of makeup every morning. Also coming up, clear the playground. This is what happens when a family of playful bears invades a backyard. Thats somebodys backyard. Imagine that. But were going to start here with Buckingham Palace. Just two days after arresting a guy who scaled a fence to the queens home. News this morning armed officers may have mistaken Prince Andrew the queens own son for an intruder. Abcs Nick Schifrin is at Buckingham Palace this morning with the stor

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130130

Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment zen. Were looking for the best and brightest minds in entertainment and technology to tell stories, important stories. One were going to tell this summer is the man in the moon, captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, do states have to follow federal law . Only if it starts with simon says. Bailiff lf. [ laughter ] then, whats the latest news in the war on terror . The answer is redacted. [ laughter ] and my guest George Saunders wrote what the New York Times called the best book youll read this year. Jokes on them, im not reading any books this year. [ laughter ] eating lunch earlier can help you lose weight. Thats why i always eat tomorrows lunch tonight. [ laughter ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central this is the colbert report. [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the broadcast, everybody. Thank you so much. [cheer

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130130

Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment zen. Were looking for the best and brightest minds in entertainment and technology to tell stories, important stories. One were going to tell this summer is the man in the moon, captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, do states have to follow federal law . Only if it starts with simon says. Bailiff lf. [ laughter ] then, whats the latest news in the war on terror . The answer is redacted. [ laughter ] and my guest George Saunders wrote what the New York Times called the best book youll read this year. Jokes on them, im not reading any books this year. [ laughter ] eating lunch earlier can help you lose weight. Thats why i always eat tomorrows lunch tonight. [ laughter ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central this is the colbert report. [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the broadcast, everybody. Thank you so much. [cheer

Transcripts For CNBC Mad Money 20130208

Here. Andy . Weak canadian job numbers led to Canadian Dollar weakness. Watch the state of the union if president obama mentioned xl pipeline and says no go, more weakness to come for the Canadian Dollar. Im sure the short the euro to 132. Id be short aussie next week and dont be fooled by the japanese finance minister, yen will weaken. Hopefully dollar yen will give us good fortune this week. Your next chance for currency trade, sunday afternoon. Have a great weekend. Im jim cramer. Welcome to my world. You need to get in the game. Hes nuts, theyre nuts they know nothing. I always like to say theres a bull market somewhere. Mad money, you cant afford to miss it. Hey, im cramer. Welcome to mad money, welcome to cramerica. Other people want to make friends, im trying to save you a little money. My job is not just to entertain you but to make you a little money. So call me. Call it a pleasant day with the dow gaining 4. 9 points, nasdaq falling. We hear from annies. Now i got to tell you

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