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Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others
July 7, 2021
When my wife and I were first married, we attended a small group about marriage at our church. It was based on Emerson Eggerichs’ book,
Love & Respect. This was a New York Times Bestseller with 2.1 million copies sold that had a huge influence on the evangelical world.
On page 221 of the book, Emerson writes: To set up a marriage with two equals at the head is to set it up for failure. That is one of the big reasons that people are divorcing left and right today.
Initially, we accepted that statement as fact. We decided that I as the man would be the head of the home. If we had a disagreement, I would always have the trump card. Well, early on in our marriage we realized that is not the best way to settle disagreements. Saying you need to listen to me because I am the man is not the best way to win friends and influence people. It certainly is not the best way to gain the respect of your wife.
Dear Chuck,
Our best friends are on the brink of a divorce. A financial mistake occurred several years ago, and theyâre slowly working their way out. But the wife is struggling to forgive. Any advice?Â
Financial BitternessÂ
Dear Financial Bitterness,Â
This is a far bigger problem than simply fixing their finances. A divorce usually leads to a financial and emotional disaster. My hope is that this advice will help you give them guidance to save their marriage.
The Big Picture
Financial stress is a leading cause in marriage conflicts. Breaking up may not solve the issues. The average cost of divorce in 2019 was $12,900. This varies depending on location, child support or custody, alimony, and if it was settled outside of court or in a trial.Â