Chief meteorologist has contradicted the weather. He, trump took his show on the road last night. He hosted a pep rally in fayetteville, North Carolina where he claimed aboard air force one that people were lined up, waiting in the rain to see him, even though it wasnt raining at all. We have now, people standing in line, trying to get into the arena, and i will tell you that they are soaking wet, because roy and everybody just walked into the plane, and you folks were wet. Its bad weather out there. Jimmy no, no, no they werent. If they were wet, they were just sweating, because you are the president. I still dont understand why he would say this, because by all accounts it was not raining in f fayetteville. And just to make sure of that we pulled the local Weather Forecast for monday, september 9th. Morning low running above average at 74. And also no precipitation reported on monday. Jimmy no precipitation reported, but. [cheers and applause] i told you, i knew it was only a matter
Unbeknownst to almost everyone, the Major Taliban leaders and separately the president of afghanistan were going to secretly meet with me at camp david on sunday. Only trump would brag about a meeting he didnt have. [ laughter ] anyway. They were coming to the United States tonight. Unfortunately, in order to build false leverage they admitted to an attack in kabul that killed one of our great, great soldiers and 11 other people. I immediately canceled the meeting and called off peace negotiations. What kind of people would kill so many in order to seemingly strengthen their bargaining position . Mm. The taliban maybe . [ laughter ] i dont know. You know, the people you invited to camp david. Donald trump invited the taliban to camp david three days before 9 11. Next month hes taking al qaeda to six flags. Did you know that . [ laughter ] can you imagine if that meeting had happened and it had gone like if someone in their group complimented him . Wed have video right now of the presid
he has a little guy, they are adjusted for someone who seems like this. and i have spots. and it s the worst day to have spots, because today is a big day, this is a big show. kat, this is our two-year anniversary show! [cheers and applause] yeah, well, this marriage of the three of us is off to a great start with greg forgetting it s our anniversary and running off to germany to make art films like he is lord for quad. yes, look at that, you see it. yep! not my blue buttons! anyways, thanks for nothing, greg. no, but thank you, greg, kat, staff, team, and our amazing fans for making us number 1. [applause] and let s not forget jean who does all of the dancing and singing and annoying things. [applause] but we will not put the camera on him, not even for a second. [laughs] that sounded like greg coming out to the monologue. so if a coward dies a thousand deaths and a soldier dies but once, how many times do they get to attempt to end them? in the case of those going after pre
Were in a film called chappaquiddick . I thought, a comedy about chappaquiddick . audience laughing oh, right its not a comedy. No, its not a comedy. Its the actual chappaquiddick. Its a look at the story that really kind of affected ted kennedys life completely arguably changed history, right . If you believe the idea absolutely that ted kennedy was going to be president at some point, and this might have been the thing that disabled it, right . Oh yeah, beyond a doubt. And its also interesting given our current political climate, like what ted kennedy got away with, the entitlement and stuff like that. Its a really fascinating look. You and i are the same age, were both 51. 51, but i look 50. audience laughing is that right . You dont look a day over 50 and a half. I barely look 50 and six months. So we were three years old when this happened. So i have no memory of it, i just know what ive read over the years. And i suspect that when you were contemplating taking this role, and you
Congratyoullations. Please shred this card so it cant be used for evidence n and, of course, today youre a woman. Goodbye. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, a whole lot of more. Plus stephen welcomes Saoirse Ronan van jones and Michelle Wolf featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. We are exactly one week one week from the possible election of Alabama Senate candidate and depressing sequel to toy story, roy moore. laughter you do not want him to play woody. laughter he has been accused just a character name has been accused by at least nine women of Sexual Misconduct while they were teenagers, but the president is standing by his man for a simple reason. Forward to fighting alongside the president to maga of course, thats the sound teenage girls make when they see roy moore at the mall, magah laughter now, moore