The new year blows in with a great falling of trees and a flood. In the churchyard, a giant cypress lies prone, its broken roots grasping the air. By some combination of wind direction or judicious divine intervention, it has fallen parallel to the church; a slight change of angle and it would have crashed through the roof.
Dry Veganuary impossible, experts warn 6th January 2021
DOCTORS have issued a public health warning the public that doing Dry Veganuary in a national lockdown is not achievable.
Bored, self-regarding Britons chasing detox thrills by abstaining from alcohol and animal products simultaneously could realise they have nothing to live for within days, according to medical professionals.
Dr Julian Cook said: “Neither of these challenges is insurmountable alone. But after the strain of this past year, attempting even a single week without the assistance of meat and alcohol is inadvisable.
“Thankfully gyms are closed so there’s no attempt to get fit as well, or we’d already have seen fatalities. It’s frankly just not the time for it.