gosh, what am i getting myself into? what have i gotten myself into, exactly. he sat at the table and was clearing crumbs from the table that didn t exist all the time we were talking. when he answered a question and made eye contact, it was like he was not looking at me, he was looking through me. i knew i was looking at someone who was not ordinary. yet that didn t intimidate gains. i spent more time than any sane person would have done. so why did you do it? because john lennon was murdered and he was important to me. i think he was important to everybody in my generation and to find out, you know, why. and i felt very lucky that i was able to interview, not because of him but because he wasn t talking to anyone else. but that all changed. once chapman started talking to gains one winter day in 1983, he