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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140107

Llewyn Davis Oscar Isaac is here. He plays llewyn davis. A talented man. Were back. Recovering from the holidays tsms a new start for us. No more animosity, no more war on christmas. Well ease into the new year and talk about things innocuous. Were not going to talk about politics or religion because these are hot button topics so [laughter] [laughter] hey, some weather, huh snrks. I have never experienced cold like this in my life. Jon ill say. It is cold outside. Ill tell you this morning his to put my hand on a witchs teat to keep them warm. Thats actually the witchs teat was warmer than which i think is unusual. [ laughter ] any more weather talk . Any more minneapolis st. Paul minus 20 degrees. Ive never felt like like this. You could be inside the freezer and you would be warmer. Some crew members had tears inside the eyes. Things are freezing on my body that i didnt know were possible to freeze. [ laughter ] jon are you breaking up with me . [laughter] because that is not the fi

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140107

Headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon hi, welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] what a program we have for you in this 2014. My name is stewart. My guest tonight from inside Llewyn Davis Oscar Isaac is here. He plays llewyn davis. A talented man. Were back. Recovering from the holidays tsms a new start for us. No more animosity, no more war on christmas. Well ease into the new year and talk about things innocuous. Were not going to talk about politics or religion because these are hot button topics so [laughter] [laughter] hey, some weather, huh snrks. I have never experienced cold like this in my life. Jon ill say. It is cold outside. Ill tell you this morning his to put my hand on a witchs teat to keep them warm. Thats actually the witchs teat was warmer than which i think is unusual. [ laughter ] any more weather talk . Any more minneapolis st. Paul minus 20 degr

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140108

Sound of my voice, first of all open your eyes. Now if you are listening and watching from anywhere east of seattle, washington, i hope you walked your windows, stocked your soup cupboard and put that to obese relative to slice open and call inside. Because this is no ode cold snap this is a monster. This is essentially a hurricane t swirls and it swirls at a hundred miles an hour that is our polar vor wex opinions polar vortex. Polar vortex. Yeah, polar vortex. We could have thunder snow. Thunder snow. Stephen yes, were being hit by a polar vortex and thunder snow laughter stephen and frankly, folks, im not sure if those are weather patterns or finishing moves from mortal come bat. And as a newsman, i want to salute whoever came up with the term polar vortex. laughter it is terrifying but still sounds all sciencey. Now a lesser meteorologist could have overreached with arctic coldnado or a class can dick punch but polar vortex is restrained but menacing. Anyway, good luck surviving th

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