Jon welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. We have a good one for you tonight. Our guest tonight the lovely and talented kerry washington, the show from scandal, the show about a team, they love the scandal. As many off them know, a show about a team of competent professionals in our nations capitol. Its fiction. I guess obviously were going to be begin tonight as we have begun for the past three nights. With our continuing coverage of shutdown 2013 jon all right, in the past few days you pay have developed an impression that nothing works any more, not only the Government Shutdown but the Health Care Exchanges that its health care was supposed to be prevent are almost, well, shutdown. But im pleased to report there is one Organization Currently working at peak efficiency, located in a small hamlet and that place is known as bull [bleep] mountain. See, over on bull [bleep] mountain they oh. I didnt realize that had come up. Over on bull [bleep] mountain they realize that th
Captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org stephen how to end the Government Shutdown. I think if you hold down texas and maine at the same time, it automatically reboots. laughter he is the same age of their average viewer. And by guest Chris Matthews is the host of msnbcs hardball. Incidentally, hardball not covered under obamacare. laughter the new york city opera is closing. It isnt over until the fat lady doesnt sing. This is the colbert report. cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being in here, out there, all around the world. Ladies and gentlemen, i only have one question for you are you ready to get these bastards . Yes stephen how long have they had a free ride . Too long laughter . Stephen folks, thank you fo
Oprahs going to be okay. Wish i could say the same for her vagina and asshole. Thats a great idea you had to sneak the hostages inside the bank. Yeah, it sure was. Were sorry we tried to burn you and murder you before. Oh, thats okay. This whole thing was my fault. I learned that i shouldnt get high to come up with ideas. I should come up with ideas and then get high, to reward myself. You said it. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. We have a good one for you tonight. Our guest tonight the lovely and talented kerry washington, the show from scandal, the show about a team, they love the scandal. As many off them know, a show about a team of competent professionals in our nations capitol. Its fiction. I guess obviously were going to be begin tonight as we have begun for the past three nights. With our continuing coverage of shutdown 2013 jon all right
Here it is, your moment of zen. We are going to let these, this world war ii vet used as political pawns that is why we showed up. Were trying to protect captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org stephen how to end the Government Shutdown. I think if you hold down texas and maine at the same time, it automatically reboots. laughter he is the same age of their average viewer. And by guest Chris Matthews is the host of msnbcs hardball. Incidentally, hardball not covered under obamacare. laughter the new york city opera is closing. It isnt over until the fat lady doesnt sing. This is the colbert report. cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being in here, out there, all around the wor
But im pleased to report there is one Organization Currently working at peak efficiency, located in a small hamlet and that place is known as bull [bleep] mountain. See, over on bull [bleep] mountain they oh. I didnt realize that had come up. Over on bull [bleep] mountain they realize that this shutdown aint looking so hot for one particular political party. According to the Media Research Center Network evening news stories over the last two weeks have blamed the gop 21 times and blamed democrats none it. Jon and theyre also blaming floods on water. Not fire. And sunsets on the rotation of the earth, not giant feathered who defire devour the sun at night. Yes, it appears during the shutdown facts are mattering. Well, we cant have that. To the bull [bleep]nator. We are seeing firsthand the devastating impact this liberal shutdown is having. Jon liberal shutdown, hmmmm. The feces is strong in this one. laughter jon all right, shutdown relabeled. Veterans had to move barricades to gain a