Sound check. [ light laughter ] check, one, two check, one, two. I invented jet skis. Check, one, two. [ light laughter ] dung former Trump Campaign manager, cory lewandowskis appearance before congress today, one representative called lewandowski, quote, some kind of forrest gump relating to corruption, due to his appearance in numerous scandals. Hey, if the haircut fits [ light laughter ] President Trump watched his former Campaign Manager cory lewandowskis congressional testimony today from aboard air force one. And when youre trying to prove youre not a criminal, it doesnt help that your boss is watching from the getaway car. [ laughter ] dont land yet. I want to see how this goes. [ light laughter ] during an event in South Carolina, yesterday, republican president ial challenger mark sanford held a mock debate against a cardboard cutout of President Trump. [ light laughter ] you could tell the cutout wasnt the real trump, because it made some good points [ laughter ] according [
Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight uu. K. In the membrane. Plus, stephen welcomes Renee Zellweger Walton Goggins and a special appearance by new zealands Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on hi there thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, chris. Nick and mark, every up there, down, there out there, around the world. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, get out your sextants, your compass, your astrolabes because we are in uncharted waters. Because after two and a half years of the trump presidency, we finally spotted the great orange whale, and let me tell you, thar he blows. laughter , this morning this morning, the administration, for some reason, released the official notes of trumps phone call with ukrainian president volodymyr zele
Sound check. [ light laughter ] check, one, two, check, one, two. I invented jet skis, check, one, two. [ light laughter ] during former Trump Campaign manager, cory lewandowskis appearance before congress today, one representative called lewandowski, quote, some kind of forrest gump relating to corruption, due to his appearance and numerous scandals. Hey, if the haircut fits [ light laughter ] President Trump watched his former Campaign Manager cory lewandowskis congressional testimony today from aboard air force one. And when youre trying to prove youre not a criminal, it doesnt help that your boss is watching from the getaway car. [ laughter ] dont land yet. I want to see how this goes. [ light laughter ] during an event in South Carolina yesterday, republican president ial challenger mark sanford held a mock debate against a cardboard cutout of President Trump. Light laughter ] you could tell the cutout wasnt the real trump, because it made some good points [ laughter ] according [
They expect the heat will cause the usual problems. Blackouts are possible. Driving is more dangerous. People who netflix may be unable to chill over the weekend. So heres a little advice. Ive lived in some hot places. I lived in vegas. I lived in phoenix. What i do, i put my clothes in the fridge overnight, and youll thank me in the morning, just the president put on a real scorcher of a show last night. I dont know if you saw any of it, but trump held a rally in north korea i mean North Carolina last night. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and i dont know if someone over there at the rally has a sense of humor or what, i doubt it, but this is the song they were playing last night before mike pence came on stage. Macho, macho man macho man i got to be a macho man i got to be a macho ive got to ba macho jimmy i want to be a macho. Mother, i want to be a macho. Moments later, the macho man himself, captain space force, took the stage. He was summoned there to introduce his master, d
Jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much welcome. [ cheers and applause oh, have a seat. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here guys, this is very exciting. Tonight was the season premier of bachelor in paradise. [ cheers and applause owwoo its for everyone who watched the bachelorette and thought, well, its a little too classy for me. I think i want to [ laughter ] thats right bachelor in paradise is here its the show thats got way too much alcohol and not nearly enough chlorine. [ light laughter ] the cast includes caelynn, dean, and clay meanwhile luke p. Wasnt invited, but you know hes going to show up anyway, right [ laughter ] it was a big night on tv abc had bachelor in paradise, cbs had love island. And here on nbc it was chicago orgy. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy this isnt good. Over the weekend, Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell tripped at his h