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Elaine Chung I wouldn’t know where to even begin when it comes to tallying up how many truly shitty movies Roger Ebert had to sit through in his four-and-a-half decades as a film critic. Hundreds? Thousands? The doorstop-thickness of his essential anthology, I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie offers a hint at the sheer massiveness of the number. It’s 406 pages long and according to Ebert, it merely represented the tip of the iceberg. Still, even the most masochistic movie reviewer can have his or her limit. And in February of 1979, Ebert met his. A film that was so inept and god-awful he had to get up and walk out of the theater. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bob Guccione’s big-budget Ancient Rome porn extravaganza,

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