(just kidding, minus a million stars)
Heralded as “certainly miss-able” by student mental health advisors and “simply depressing” by every student interested in co-curriculars, the academic year 2020/1 will go down as one of the most controversial yet incredibly dull performances in university history. Directed by University Executives, under the creative guidance of Boris Johnson – known for unexpected plot twists and flare for breaking (theatrical) laws – the year demonstrated their ability to “make things up along the way” and “hope nobody notices how little prepared we are”.
University Executives took the phrase ‘art is suffering’ to new extremes with the finale: 24-hour exams. This dramatic convention put the performers through a whole new dimension of pain, pushing them to complete several ‘exam-style’ summative essays before the setting of the sun, leaving little time for sleep and just enough for a guilt-sodden cheese toastie.
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