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It’s been a very weird year in movies, what with the thing and all. But, the other day, as I was sitting alone, watching older and newer movies, I got to thinking about films I love and actors I love and so I naturally started to think about the character actor Richard Kind. If you don’t know who Richard Kind is, don’t even Google it. This piece is not for you and goodbye.
Here are movies that would have been better with Richard Kind in them.
“Home Alone” (1990)
This film is missing Richard Kind. Here’s how he could have and should have been in it.
Major and Champ
Major and Champ are two rescue dogs who are here to insure that the Inauguration runs smoothly. They are two very good boys who are prepared to be two very bad boys if you threaten the peaceful exchange of power.
Maxine
Think you won’t be vaccinated anytime soon? Don’t worry, Maxine the Vaccine Cat is here to make sure you get a shot,
ASAP! She’s earnest, has nine best friends whom she hasn’t seen all year, and washes her hands constantly.
Postmaster Abe
Abe has been a postal worker for a hundred years. He wants to apologize for your mail arriving late this year especially that gift you bought for yourself. He values your self-care, and, on behalf of the U.S.P.S., he’s sorry. Aw, what a sweet guy. We forgive you!
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Ask Kim Kierkegaardashian is an advice column by a mashup of the nineteenth-century existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard and the reality star and fashion maven Kim Kardashian West. Are you suffering an existential crisis? Vexed about what to wear? Send your questions to kimkierkegaard1@gmail.com (or address them to @kimkierkegaard on Twitter). Questions may be edited for clarity and length.
Dear Kim Kierkegaardashian,
I had a recent partner who was really into dirty talk. That doesn’t come very naturally to me, but I was managing O.K. until she specifically asked me to call her a slut. My woke brain started arguing with my caveman brain, and it made the whole thing distinctly unsexy for me. Is it problematic to call a woman a slut in the context of consensual sex, if she requests it? Does it deny her agency or make me a chauvinist to even raise the question? Should I be worried that things like internalized misogyny might be affecting her agen
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If thereâs one thing we can all agree on, itâs that there are a lot of streaming services these days. What with HBO Max, CBS All Access, Hoopla, Dendryte, and Kirklandâthe new streaming service for Costco members offering only Kirk Douglas moviesâit can be difficult to keep track of whatâs available where. With so many excellent options, and Crackle, how am I supposed to know how to watch âThe Officeâ?
Donât worry, watching âThe Officeâ is easier than ever. For Seasons 1 and 2, you can continue to use your Netflix subscription. All the episodes will be there. However, once you reach the end of Season 2, Netflix will start auto-playing its new original series âThe Workplace,â starring Bob Saget and the kid from âStranger Thingsâ (no, not that one). Itâs a show about the employees of a cardboard factory in the fictional town of Scrambles, Castlevania, and in Episode 12 they all get Q