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ex-wives. one of them, jennie willough willoughby, married to porter four years, spoke out this morning on nbc s today show. as the moment was brought to me to share these intimate and shameful details that i haven t even shared with family and friends has been really cathartic. i think anybody who has been in a toxic or abusive relationship recognizes that on some degree you feel as though it is your fault and you carry that shame with you. when did you know this has crossed a line? you know, abuse is a really tricky thing. it starts slow, and it starts a cycle sort of where you don t really see it for what it is. i don t think i realized that i could even call my marriage abusive until about a year in. what was the moment?