i am tranquilized. little did i know that decision to take some valium was going to change my life forever. the plane lands at the airport in mexico city. i am in a valium-induced fog. i am numb. i see my luggage. i point to a baggage man to lift it for me. he carries it over to customs. everything is dulled for me right now. the customs agent looks at me.
a customs agent took me into a back room dragging my suitcase with me. he says, take off your shirt. and then what do you have under the cast? i says, nothing. i am shouting to him i m injured. he feels that i am tightening my stomach and he says, loosen up, loosen up. and i don t. and he slaps me in the face. i thought, oh, this is serious. he gets out these pliers and he feels a rustle. he shouts drugs. drugs. and a doctor comes and he just cuts the cast off.
and so, i kept thinking, i ought to go back to south america and get some more coke. i had put casts on people with broken limbs and while i was doing it one day i thought, why couldn t i put cocaine in a cast? no customs agent would ever check that. and i thought, yes. it has to work. my plan was to fake having a mountain climbing accident with a broken shoulder. i would then put the cocaine in my arm under a shoulder cast. i also had forged x rays. i had false medical receipts
lines in rural areas. it s the first utility company in the country to use drones in this way. the drone is about 16 inches in diameter. it feeds back a live signal from its tiny camera. it s also quieter, cheaper and can operate in stronger winds than a helicopter. an unexpected fine for a customs agent at the los angeles airport. they seized 67 large african snails. actually meant for someone s dinner. the snails can grow up to eight inches long. they re banned in the u.s. because they can carry a disease carrying parasites and because they can eat crops. the unfortunate snails ended up in the incinerator. well, someone has a very expensive cupcake. a crumbs cupcake has sold on ebay for $255. the original price at the store was about $4. the seller called it, quote, the holy grail of confections. and claimed it was the last one sold by the chain that suddenly closed its doors a week ago. of course bidding ended before news that the investor group may reopen crumbs. no word on how
the managed transition where all parties get to influence who in fact takes its place. but we certainly would not want to sigh chaos come to the country beyond what we ve already seen and have a flip-flopping of who runs the country. i think we d see a mess there. so 70 americans over there. the same report claims as many as 3,000 westerners in general. are we able is the u.s. government able to track these people? do we know who they are? would we be able to prevent them from coming back to the united states? i think it s very difficult to prevent anyone from going over there. they re free to travel there as they see fit, prevepting their return is something we can do if we have evidence to prove that they re in the fight. we could pick them up at the border. these are coming back on american passports or european passports or the passports from other visa waiver countries. it s up to the customs agent to make the call. why are they allowed to travel why would they be