He dropped out of tonights coverage due to a nasty eye infection. I told him, bob, do not wash your face with the water. [ laughter ] but bob is all, im eighttime sportscaster of the year bob costas surely my eyes eyes are impervious to russian toxins. Look at the poor eye. [ laughter ] hes a good man were going to help him out. To lift some of the burden from bobs pink, goopy shoulders, here is tonights the daily show olympics moment. That doesnt seem very sensitive. Here we go. Can i do this. Yesterday i can do. This yesterday saw canadian skier alex bilodeau. Here is alex in the lead hes catching up so he shot him right there the other guy died and he fell off a cliff. [ laughter ] so ultimately a big victory for the guy who shot the other guy. [laughter] bob, stay and rest those peepers weve got these games covered for you. No problem. [ laughter ] moving on at last months state of the Union President obama made one thing clear. Lets get Immigration Reform done this year. Lets get
Remember talented. But first remember in 2005 we found out the c. I. A. Was authorized to use interrogation techniques on prisoners that could be described as torture. I did say could . I meant should have been described as torture but for some reason were not described that way but instead described as enhanced interrogation or freedom tickling. But you can imagine the outrage. Actually you have to imagine the outrage because really no one was that outraged about it. Congress did not get around to fully investigating the torture revelations until 2009. I cannot remember why it took so long to i wish hmmmm i can im sorry i dont mean i cannot remember, i mean i wish i could not remember why. Funny story about congresss investigation to the c. I. A. s use of torture. They say during this investigation the c. I. A. Ak sesd their computers and certain damning information just started vanishing. Jon now originally the information that vanished, congress believed it to be suicide. [laughter]
Vehicles. And you know what they say, if you got em, smoke em. You United States has been conducting targeted killings in battlefield tour 10. 5 years. 375 of these strikes under president obama. Jon president obama is our countrys alltime leader in outside battlefield sky killing or bsk for those of you hes like barry bombs. La laugh [laughter] of drone strikes, if will you. But there are limits to this practice. For the record, i do not believe it would be constitutional for the government to target and kill any United States citizen with a drone or with a shotgun without due process. Jon what a relief. [ laughter ] of course, that was in may. How does that statement hold up in february . Officials confirm that indeed the Obama Administration is trying to decide whether it can legally launch a drone strike against an american citizen who is working with al qaeda noon unnamed foreign country. Jon thats our dlem maximum its not constitution dilemma. Its not constitutional to kill an am
Gynes combines my two favorite things, competition and formal wear. Thats why i also love ice dancing and the ufcs tangling tuxedos. So pain deserving winners last night. But of course the biggest winner of the evening was slavery. And the oscar goes to 12 years a slave. I would like to thank the academy, thank you so much. I dedicate this award to all the people who have endured slavery. Stephen yes, this is a vicry for all those who endured slavery. Send the resounding message for us. Were even now. Okay . laughter because while it was bad, it was bad, okay t was bad and we did it, but slavery beat the things america loves most. Astronauts, tom hanks and jonah hill yanking it. laughter and since the terrible evil of slavery resulted in a best picture oscar, that means ultimately, slavery has a happy ending. laughter just like the draj dee of the titanic. If those people had lived to hear celine dion sing that song, im sure they gladly would drowned themselves. Folks, it wasnt just sl
cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen cheers and applause cheers and applause folks, welcome to the show. Thank you for joining us. If you watch this show, i got some news for you. President barack obama is a failed leader. Dont worry this isnt a rerun or a future episode. Its tonight. Last week obama announced the planned withdrawal of American Forces from afghanistan by 2015. With a stroke of his pen, there goes americas Strategic Reserve of rubble. Now i feel like ive wasted 12 years memorizing all those tricky muslim names karzai. Haqqani. Beyonce. I mean, i was almost ready for that jelly. There is a new Foreign Policy crise for obama to shrank. Ukraine unraveling. Ukraine Officials Say theyre on the brink of war with russia. Thousand of Russian Troops have ousted Ukrainian Forces and taken complete control of key strategic crimean peninsula. Crimean crisis has deepened o