Dear Diary, This was very nearly the last diary you would ever read from me, for two reasons. Firstly, my life was very nearly ended this week by an idiotic motorist, then (after I had obviously survived) my scribe was in danger of being arrested as she went out in search of said motorist to […]
Dear diary, Ok, fess up. Who has upset her? And no, I don’t mean the mothership – let’s face it, it’s easier to upset mother than spot a Kardashian photoshop – I mean Mother Nature. Because lord above, that woman has suddenly gone colder than Olaf’s underpants. It’s APRIL. Like supposedly spring; you know flowers, […]
Dear diary, Apologies for the lack of diary last week, but the mothership was in India and didn’t bother to send some sort of stand in scribe for her, thus leaving me unable to convey my brilliance via this medium – after I broke the last laptop I’m not allowed another one… Sadly, the trip […]
Dear diary, Thank you everyone who has responded to my ask regarding how to avoid any more hacking horrors. I have to say some of you are more mercenary than mother (which I can assure you is quite some feat) and your top tips around shoulder dropping and erstwhile literally throwing people under buses were […]
Dear Diary, I give up… Literally give up. Every female I am surrounded by is nuttier than a squirrel in a Special K Factory. Now, in fairness this is not a new revelation when it comes to the mothership – let’s be honest, the woman struggles to identify which direction a lift is going with […]