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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170107

There are just three days until christmas when most of us will celebrate the birth of christ, and mike pence will celebrate historys least planned parenthood. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] Donald Trumps childhood home in new york city is going up for auction three days before his inauguration. Wow, just think, you could own the home that donald trump never grew up in. [ light laughter ] the rock band kiss reportedly turned down an offer to perform at Donald Trumps inauguration, and its not the first time trump has been refused a kiss. [ laughter and applause ] seth youre my best friend. [ light laughter ] a new poll has found that the most annoying thing said in casual conversation is whatever. The second most annoying is, hello, im conducting a poll. [ light laughter ] a new study has found that using multiple social mediaplatforms may make you depressed or anxious, while using just one may make you president. [ laughter and applause ] according according to new re

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170106

We start at 1 00 a. M. , notice the temperatures are in the 20s and low 30s. As we get it going. They start to warm up, still below the freezing mark, everything will start to clear by 3 00, 4 00 a. M. , and we see everything moving out of the area by 5 00 a. M. We will have another update coming up in a half hour. We are watching the majors out by the king of prussia mall. You will see this at the allendale road, you can see reflecting from the street lights and the vehicle headlights. The wet road conditions. Be mindful of the surfaces. We will have another update in the next half hour. Vice president en will reportedly work at the university of pennsylvania once he leaves office. Apparently they had an opening for, cool r. A. [ laughter ] i know youre going to smoke your weed, guys. Just roll up a towel and put it under the door, all right . Joes going to look the other way, just got to make it easy for him. Today is National Hamburger day, when we celebrate the birth of cheeseus. [

Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170106

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 559, fresno steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey, everybody. Welcome welcome please enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome. Thank you for being here. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hot crowd, hot new york city crowd [ cheers and applause ] you got style, baby. Welcome to the tonight show. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you for watching at home. Heres what people are talking about. Last night, the chicago cubs won game two of the world series. [ cheers ] thats right, to tie it up, 11. Yeah, its all tied up, which are the scariest words americans can hear two weeks before the election. I think the election [ laughter ] [ trump voice ] i think the election should also be best of seven. [ laughter ] rigged this is crazy, though. I saw that tickets to world series games in chicago this weekend cost over 2,000 and even the bars near Wrigley Field have a 250 cover charge. Cubs fans are like, i

Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170106

[ laughter ] donald trump claimed this morning that he would have done even better in the election if the winner was based on the popular vote because he would have campaigned differently. Why are you complaining . Its over. You won. Wait, why am i talking to you . You know what . Let me talk to your father. Oh, hey, listen. Would it have killed you to hug him once . [ laughter and applause ] fox newss bill oreilly said last night [ applause ] bill oreilly said last night that liberals want to eliminate the Electoral College because they want power taken away from the white establishment. Bill, you dont have to say, white establishment. Its redundant. Thats like saying atm machine. The m means machine. [ laughter ] Vice President joe biden will reportedly work at the university of pennsylvania once he leaves office. Apparently they had an opening for, cool r. A. [ laughter ] i know youre going to smoke your weed, guys. Just roll up a towel and put it under the door, all right . Joes go

Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170107

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 578, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome to the tonight show, everyone. This is it. You made it. Happy [ cheers and applause ] i want to wish everyone here a a happy, happy thanksgiving. Hey [ cheers and applause ] i get to spend it with you. Spend it with you, perfect, perfect. Oh, man, this is just exciting here. Earlier today we had the macys thanksgiving day parade. Thats right. Thousands of parents woke up extra early to bring their kids to the city, snag a spot in the front row only to hear, dad, i have to go to the bathroom. You go, yeah, i know. I knew you were going to say that. [ cheers and applause ] i knew you were gonna say it. Go in your pants. [ laughter ] i saw that i saw that some of the parade route was two and a half miles long and took about 90 mi

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